


The Leijons

by kaybee



Series: A Year In The Life [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, American Sign Language, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Choking, Deaf Character, Embedded Images, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drug Use, blunt force trauma, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-10-16 07:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10566711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybee/pseuds/kaybee
Summary: Skaia High is full of a strange assortment of characters; the douchebag who plays guitar (badly) to pick up chicks, the 17-year old who still carries around Pokémon cards, but everyone finds him attractive regardless, the girl who became a certified lifeguard at 14, the disguised albino, the girl who’s best friend blinded her in 7th grade, and a myriad of other odd friends. They are slowly finding their way, paving their paths as they grow up. This is a compilation of their stories.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nepeta has a hopeless crush and an unconventional family. The only two people she'd trust with ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING? Her sister and Equius Zahhak





	1. Cats Don't Swim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day at the beach!

            Nepeta loved the beach. She wasn’t a _huge_ fan of the water, but she loved the beach, and it was nice to spend some time with family, as amalgamated as her family was. It was her, her sister, and their mother, and their mother’s fiancé, Solomon, and his two sons Karkat and Kankri. Nepeta and Karkat had been friends before their parents started dating; in fact, Nepeta had a bit of a crush on Karkat. And then there were the Maryams: Solomon’s mother, Nana Rosa, and his sister, Malati, and her husband, Aarav, and their kids, Kanaya and Porrim. So, yeah, they were far from traditional, but that only made things more interesting.  
            Karkat was grumpy—that was his default mood—but Nepeta figured it was because he had to wear a buttload of sunscreen and still stay in the shade of the umbrella. His little surly frown was endearing. Kanaya tapped Nepeta on the shoulder, pulling her attention away from Karkat.  
            “Nepeta, would you and Meulin like to play volleyball with me and Porrim?” she asked. Nepeta glanced over at her sister, miming hitting a volleyball. She couldn’t always remember exactly what the official ASL signs were for everything, but as long as Meulin could understand what she meant, things usually worked out. Meulin nodded enthusiastically, then raised both hands and moved them up and down in a wave-like motion. Nepeta furrowed her brow for a moment, trying to remember what that meant. Oh. Ocean! Nepeta turned back to Kanaya.  
            “Sure! Meulin wants to go in the water for now, though.”  
            “Of course. Enjoy yourself; we can wait.”  
            Nepeta smiled, letting out a laugh as she ran towards her sister. Nepeta didn’t want to get too deep in the water, but she got her feet wet, walking in until it was about around her knees and kicked up at Meulin, splashing her more than a little bit. Meulin retaliated, tackling Nepeta until they both fell into the water. Meulin popped up, grinning beneath the mop of wet hair that clung to her face, but Nepeta appreciated getting soaked about as much as a cat would. The joy in the water was short-lived, as after that pounce, Nepeta trudged back to the rest of the family, stretching out into the sun as much as she could.  
             Once Meulin returned from the water, and Nepeta was sufficiently dry, the kids began to get things together for the volleyball match. Karkat stood up to join them, squinting in the sunlight. Kanaya tutted, shaking her head, and then took her hat off.  
            “Here, take my sun hat,” she said. Karkat could not have looked more unhappy about it, but he put it on anyway.  
            “I’m gonna look so fucking stupid,” he muttered. Nepeta disagreed; she thought it was pretty damn cute. Then again, she kind of _always_ thought Karkat was cute, even when he was on a pointless angry tirade. The six of them (apparently even Kankri had been convinced to play) made their way over to the volleyball court, as begrudgingly as the Vantases did so, and split themselves into teams—Karkat, Kanaya, and Meulin versus Kankri, Porrim, and Nepeta. Nepeta was the slightest bit frustrated to be stuck on Kankri’s team; he was easily the least athletic one of the bunch, which was proven when he fell flat on his ass trying to make a save, but it was a pretty good match regardless, up until Meulin hit the ball _way_ too hard, sending it over Nepeta, Kankri, and Porrim’s head. Everyone watched as it hit the ground and rolled up to a group of four kids.  
            “Oops, sorry!” Meulin called. Her volume control was _really_ off, especially without her hearing aids. Nepeta and Porrim exchanged a glance, and then Porrim turned to Karkat.  
            “Karkat, could you get the ball, please?” she asked. Karkat’s eyes went wide for a moment.  
            “Yeah, but take this first,” he answered, thrusting the hat back into Kanaya’s hand as he passed her.  
            “You really shouldn’t be in the sun,” Kanaya said.  
            “It’ll be like two minutes, it’s fine! I’m not fucking walking over there with that dumbass hat on,” Karkat huffed before running off to the other kids. Kanaya frowned at the hat in her hands, then walked over to Porrim.  
            “I thought it was quite fashionable,” she said.  
            “Don’t worry, Kanaya, men simply have no taste.”  
            “I find that offensive,” Kankri piped up, which, of course, sent him and Porrim into an argument. Somehow that was a recurring theme.  
            “I just don’t see why you feel the need to undermine me at every turn,” Porrim scowled at Kankri. Nepeta rolled her eyes, then looked at Meulin. She pointed at Porrim and Kankri, pointed her finger in the air and drew a couple of large circles, then pointed both her index fingers at each other, moving them up and down in synchrony. _They always argue._  
            Meulin nodded. She pointed at Porrim, then raised her right hand, placing her thumb in front of her chin and drawing it down to her chest before putting both hands in front of her shoulders and gesturing forward. Then, she pointed at Kankri and just gestured a ‘blah blah blah’ motion. _Yeah, she talks about feminism and he just talks too much._ Nepeta found sign language probably way too fun to use, especially around other people who couldn’t tell what they were talking about. It was like having a little secret code. Before Nepeta and Meulin’s conversation could go much further, Kanaya walked up to Nepeta, still looking a little upset about the hat. Nepeta patted her on the shoulder.  
            “Don’t worry, Kanaya, _I_ like your hat! Karkat’s just a little grumpy sometimes.” Kanaya looked up at Nepeta, looking a bit befuddled.  
            “Yes… if by sometimes you mean _literally all the time,_ ” Kanaya said, smiling a bit. “I do have to ask, what is it exactly that you see in him? And… I hope you don’t find this too intrusive, but don’t things ever get awkward?”  
            Nepeta pondered the question for a moment. “I… I don’t know, I just think he’s sweet, even if he doesn’t show it in the way other boys might. He cares about his friends a lot.” Kanaya pursed her lips, looking like there was something else she wanted to ask, but she decided against it, which Nepeta was glad for, since Karkat was returning with the volleyball. It seemed a bit of a scene had taken place, and Karkat came back looking slightly more disgruntled than usual. There was a mention of resuming the game, but everyone’s mood had been soured in the maybe ten minutes Karkat had been gone, so it just got kind of shrugged off. Kankri wandered off, seeming a bit pouty, and everyone else went back to the umbrellas. Nepeta checked her phone, hoping for a message from a specific someone, and there was in fact one waiting for her.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

CT: Good afternoon, Nepeta.  
CT: I hope you are having a pleasant time with your family.  
AC: hi equius!!  
AC: i was just pawndering if I’d hear from you today!  
CT: Yes, well, as you’re aware, I’ve been kept quite busy with programs my father insists on enrolling me in every summer.  
AC: I knowwwwww  
AC: I’ve hardly seen you!  
AC: *ac pouts a bit*  
CT: None of that.  
CT: You know it’s not my fault.  
AC: you could tell your dad you don’t WANT to go to hockey camp or whatever nonsense he’s running you ragged with  
AC: you big dumb stinky butt  
CT: Nepeta, please, we have talked about this.  
CT: My father is quite controlling.  
CT: He will not cotton well to me resisting.  
CT: And it is archery class in the summer.  
AC: pfft you suck at archery  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No I don’t.  
AC: yesssss yes yes yes  
AC: have you ever even successfully fired an arrow?  
AC: like actually got one to leave the bow??  
AC: what the hell is that about?  
CT: Nepeta, what did I say about that awful language?  
AC: oops  
AC: sorry :(  
CT: Your fraternization with the lower class has loosened your morals, can’t you see this?  
AC: but it doesn’t matter!  
AC: most of my tossed-together family IS what you’d define as lower class  
AC: i guess you think karkat is, anyway  
CT: Yuck.  
CT: Don’t pollute my incoming data sream with his name.  
AC: i don’t understand why you dislike him so much!  
AC: sure he is cranky, but i think he is fun!  
AC: he even plays silly purrtend games with me, even if in a grumpy and insincere way  
AC: which is more than i can say for YOU, sweatquius :P  
CT: We will never agree about him, it seems.  
AC: yes, it DOES seem  
AC: he’s not as bad as you seem to think  
CT: I think he is a negative influence on you, and you don’t know any better.  
CT: Which is why I am here to look out for you.  
AC: ahahaha, no  
AC: everyone knows you’re a creep and a weirdo  
AC: which is why YOU’RE lucky to have ME to keep an eye on YOU  
CT: I do not need you to keep an eye on me, or any of our supposed friends.  
AC: but  
AC: they ARE our furriends  
AC: i was even thinking of joining terezi and vriskers and i guess eridan when they play dnd  
CT: The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those hooligans strikes me as scandal beyond measure.  
CT: I’m afraid you’re too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption.  
CT: It’s forbidden.  
AC: nuh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
CT: Yes.  
CT: You won’t.  
AC: no  
AC: i will  
CT: You won’t.  
AC: you can’t stop me!  
CT: I am telling you not to.  
AC: bllllllraaaaaaaawwwlllllrrrrghggghghgh  


arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

             Nepeta set her phone down. Equius was just so FURRSTRATING. But they were best friends; practically inseperable. There was something almost magnetic about the friendship, like they belonged together in every conceivable alternate universe, even if they disagreed or called each other stupid names. Equius could be a little controlling, Nepeta would admit that much, but it was usually his attempts of looking out for her. It was the same way that Karkat’s grumpiness was really him looking out for his friends. Nepeta glanced at Karkat, sitting cross-legged under the umbrella. He shot a look at her, a look that said, “your best friend is the only guy on the planet who’s a bigger asshole than me” before turning back to whatever he was doing. Nepeta plopped herself down next to him.  
             “Hi, Karkitty,” she said, leaning into him a bit. Karkat frowned a little bit.  
             “Hey, Nep,” he muttered.  
             “Whatcha doin’?” Nepeta asked. Karkat let out a sigh, then tilted his phone towards her. She peered at it, frowning a bit. It was one of his dumb romance novels. Nepeta smirked at him. “Honestly, I don’t know why you read that stuff, it’s so trashy!”  
             Karkat gaped indignantly. “First of all, it’s not trashy. Second of all, you read shitty Wincest fanfiction so you’re not really one to talk.”  
             It was Nepeta’s turn to be indignant. She stood up. “I do _not_ read Wincest.” She stuck her tongue out at Karkat. “Everyone _knows_ Dean and Castiel are PERFECT for each other.” It was true. Destiel was best ship.  
             “Dean isn’t gay!” Karkat shouted, also standing. It wasn’t the first time they’d gotten in this exact argument.  
             “Dean could be gay, you don’t know that.” Okay, he _probably_ wasn’t GAY gay, but he looked at guys too!  
             “Okay, Dean is not _gay,_ ” Karkat said. “I suppose YOU could argue that he’s bi, but I doubt even that. And anything the writers put in hinting at Dean and Castiel being a thing is _blatant_ queerbaiting, which is gross. They tease and they tease and they tease, saying ‘hey guys, look, we _might_ have this _potential_ gay couple, look how progressive we are!’ And they proceed to jack each other off in some massive circlejerk at how they’ve now attracted this fucking fanbase of teenage girls searching for ~teh yaois~ without even putting the gay couple in the show in the FIRST PLACE, when all the _actual queer community_ wants is some goddamn representation!” Karkat was breathing a bit heavy at the end of his tirade, Nepeta had physically taken a step back, surprised at having set Karkat off, and Rosa looked mortified. Karkat composed himself, turning pretty goddamn red, and then Nepeta blushed herself and quickly sat back down. “Sorry…Nana Rosa,” Karkat muttered before sitting next to Nepeta again.  
              “Okay, what about JohnLock?” Nepeta asked.  
              “That’s the same fucking problem,” Karkat whispered in as much of a whisper as Karkat could ever manage. Nepeta decided not to press things anymore.  
              Nepeta wandered off towards the water again, not getting in this time, but rather, she found a stick and began writing initials in the sand. AD + SC—Aradia Droog and Sollux Captor. TN + VS—Tavros and Vriska? No. Nepeta crossed that one out. KM + ... Nepeta didn’t have a match for Kanaya yet. She knew Kanaya had a thing for Vriska, but Vriska was harsh, and Kanaya was too wary of ruining her chances to ever make a move, which resulted in Vriska just seeing her as someone who can’t keep her nose out of things. Vriska was too harsh, in general, for relationships, Nepeta thought. Most people couldn’t tolerate her. TP +-- fuck, she didn’t have anyone for Terezi, either!! Shipping her friends would be so much easier if there was more than one way to pair them off. TP + KV was certainly a contender given the history, but Nepeta was being a bit selfish about it. GM + TN. EA + FP. That last one was debatable. Before too long, Meulin joined her and they worked out her friends’ ships, too. DM + RN, Nepeta wrote out, before Meulin crossed it out, explaining that the ship SANK. What a shame. MC + LP. KV + CA. ML + KM. PM + LE (literally everybody). AS + MP. HZ + RN. The waves kicked up and erased all the letters as they went.  
              Nepeta drew one more before leaving. The family was packing up, Meulin had gone up to help, and Nepeta felt okay writing NL + KV and drawing a heart around it. She ran up to meet the rest, turning around just as the water washed her handiwork away. All she could do was hope it wouldn’t turn out to be foreshadowing of reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay man i have no idea what im doin for nep's story tbh but she was the first HS character i outright LOVED. shes the character that got me into cosplay for christ's sake so here she is my precious smol daughter  
> i am so self conscious about writing equius  
> and about writing ASL. i had to look up like 8 things for this chapter and figure out how to describe it i hope im doing okay but if/when meulin and kurloz have a convo im probably just gonna put it in italics or something god damn
> 
> also apparently i have literally not EVER put nepeta in a pesterlog in this entire goddamn series what the fuck is that about


	2. Skaia High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta navigates the halls of Skaia High

 

      There was a bit of chaos in the house the next morning. Porrim and Kanaya were dropped off early, as Solomon had been tasked with taking them to school. Porrim was helping Karkat dye his hair because he insisted on covering up his _adorable_ white hair, and then Kankri and Porrim got into another fight, and Nepeta and Meulin were aware of _all_ of this because it was occurring in the second floor bathroom next to their bedroom. The two girls went downstairs before things escalated to avoid getting caught in the crosshairs. Kanaya was sitting at the table, already having been helped to breakfast.  
      “Good morning, Nepeta,” Kanaya smiled. Nepeta beamed at her.  
      “Hi Kanaya!” she answered.  
      “I see you’re still sporting the beanie.”  
      Nepeta tugged on her hat. It was her favorite thing, _ever._ It was a gift from Equius. He’d given it to her for her 14th birthday over that summer, a bright blue beanie with ears and a cat face, and she wore it every day. She fished around in the pantry for the Poptarts, and stuck a pack in the toaster. A stomping sound came from the stairwell, and it was no surprise to anyone when Karkat appeared.  
      “Good morning, Karkitten!” Meulin shouted. Karkat scowled.  
      “Jesus fucking Christ, Meulin, put your goddamn hearing aids in.” Nepeta looked over at her sister, who bore a curious expression at Karkat’s comment. Oh, she actually had forgotten to put them in. Nepeta pointed at Meulin, put her hand to her forehead and dragged it, with only the middle finger touching, across her face to the right, then hooked her index finger around her ear. _You forgot your hearing aids._ Meulin’s expression turned to one of realization and she ran back upstairs, just as the toaster popped up with Nepeta’s Poptarts. She grabbed them, then sat back down, and Karkat dropped into the chair between her and Nepeta after grabbing a bowl of cereal.  
      “Very nutritious,” Kanaya hummed.  
      “Oh, shove it. I’m not in the mood,” Karkat muttered.  
      “You are _never_ in the mood.”  
      “Yeah, well, I’m _especially_ not in the mood for your snarky horseshit.”  
      “Karkitty, be nice!” Nepeta piped up. Karkat didn’t answer, resulting to just rolling his eyes as Meulin walked back in.  
      “Better?” she asked.  
      “Much,” Karkat muttered, and then the four of them were joined by Kankri and Porrim, who also made their presence known by stomping down the stairs.  
      “—and you will _not_ be a bad influence on my little brother!”  
      “Oh, get the stick out of your ass, Kanny.”  
      “I told you never to call me that!”  
      And then Solomon came into the room, too, wearing a stern expression. “Alright, kids, enough bickering. Let’s go. Everyone in the car.”

      Solomon’s minivan had more than enough room—okay, that wasn’t exactly true, there was barely enough room—for seven people. Nepeta, Kanaya, and Karkat were told to sit in the back seat, and Nepeta had to take the middle due to the house rule being “smallest sits in the middle”. Not that she minded. She and Karkat kept bumping knees “accidentally”. Meulin and Porrim took the middle row and Kankri got to ride shotgun because he was learning how to drive. Meulin was the slightest bit frustrated by this as her hearing was just bad enough to warrant her not being allowed to get a driver’s liscense (not by law; by their parents), but it wasn’t as if Kankri was a great driver either. Nepeta fidgeted in her seat, realizing she forgot all her stim toys in the desk drawer. Crap. She bounced in the seat a bit.  
     “Oh, hey, Karkitty, can I see your schedule?” she beamed at Karkat. They hadn’t compared schedules at _all,_ and Nepeta was curious as to if they shared any classes. She already  knew Equius had literally the exact same schedule as her. Karkat glanced at Kanaya.  
     “Sure, we may as well _all_ compare schedules.” The three of them dug in their backpacks. Kanaya had her things meticulously organized in her binder, Nepeta had it tucked into a notebook, and Karkat’s was slightly crumpled, having been abandoned in his bag.  
     “Aw shoot, I guess we don’t have any classes together,” Nepeta pouted. It was directed at Karkat, even though it applied to Kanaya as well. Karkat didn’t respond, instead focusing on Kanaya’s schedule.  
     “Hey, Kanaya, you’re in my Biology class,” he said.  
     “Am I? That’s good.”  
     

     Once they got to school, everyone went off on their own. Nepeta’s first priority was to find Equius. He wasn’t a hard guy to spot. He was taller than most people, and certainly more burly, but as she wandered through the halls, she realized how much more crowded it was than her middle school. It was almost too much to handle  
     “Equiussss!!” she called, just before leaping at him from behind. He instinctively latched onto her legs, resulting in Nepeta getting a piggy-back ride through the halls.  
     “Ah, Nepeta, I hardly think this is appropriate,” Equius muttered.  
     “Oh, don’t be such a party-pooper. What were you doing in the art room?”  
     “I was discussing with Miss Broughton about potentially using the studio after school hours. Unfortunately, I was not able to fit an art class into my schedule, but she has been kind enough to accommodate me.”  
     “Good thing, too, that way nobody will have to smell your sweaty butt,” Nepeta giggled. She and Equius made their way to their first class of the day, which was English. Nepeta was grateful that she and Equius had matching schedules. It was a lot easier for her to stick to someone she knew than talk to new people. Not that Nepeta _couldn’t_ talk to new people, rather that she tended to talk too much and annoy people. Her and Equius’ next class was History. Nepeta recognized one other person in History class, and that was Vriska. She had… lukewarm feelings about Vriska, at best. There were rumors about a lot of things in her past, namely that she was maybe responsible for paralyzing Tavros, but Tavros never confirmed it, and nobody else really knew for sure. Sometimes, Vriska and Nepeta would roleplay, but Vriska always wanted to play her mean characters. She was Equius’ neighbor, and Vriska and Equius vaguely got along (he was the one who built her prosthetic arm) so Nepeta didn’t totally hate her, despite a number of her friends feeling that way.  
     “Oh, heyyyyyyyy, it’s the ambiguously dating duo,” Vriska said.  
     “Vriska, please,” Equius said, not wanting to draw attention to himself. “Humorous insincerity is for pedantic children.”    
     Vriska rolled her eyes. “I know. You never make jokes. I was being sarcastic, you stooge!”  
     “That’s because you’re a little worse than me.”  
     “The fuck I am! Anyway. Hey! Did you talk to Aradia at all yet?”  
     “Keep your voice down.”  
     Nepeta perked up. “Oooh, Equius, what’s this about Aradia?” Equius let out a low grumble, then turned his attention back to Nepeta.  
     “I may… have… a bit of a…”  
     “Do you have--!” Nepeta caught herself, then lowered her voice to a whisper. “Do you have a crush on Aradia?”  
     Equius looked flustered. “Y- yes.”  
     “Ahh!” Nepeta squealed. “I need to update my ships,” she muttered, starting to draw on a piece of notebook paper just as the teacher started talking.

     The next class was Biology. Equius and Nepeta found a lab station for themselves, and they were shortly joined by Eridan.  
     “Hey guys,” he said, not even bothering to ask whether they were okay with him joining them. Nepeta frowned. Once again, she wasn’t the biggest fan of Eridan. He was… harmless, she supposed, but was really pretentious and kind of a whiny asshole who made people uncomfortable. Equius didn’t seem the most pleased about it, either, but he was far more diplomatic with his relationships than Nepeta was.  
     “Good morning, Eridan,” Equius answered. Nepeta glanced towards the door again, spotting Tavros coming in the door. Damn. She would have preferred to work with him than Eridan.

     Next was Geometry, then lunch. Nepeta and Equius showed up a little later than everyone else, but still managed to squeeze in at their table. It was certainly exciting for them all to be in the same place. Everyone was so scattered throughout the summer it was hard to get four of them in the same place, let alone twelve.  
     “Hi Nepeta!” Feferi greeted, beaming. Feferi seemed to be the only friend Nepeta had who was just as positive as she was, and they both had an affinity for puns. They got along _really_ well.  
     “Hey Fef! How was your summer?”  
     “Oh, it was great! We all went up to the lakehouse for a couple weeks, and I got to see my dad for a little bit. Meenah’s been a pill, but what else is new.”  
     “That sounds nice! Oh, except for your sister.”  
     “Oh, it’s alright, she’s always kind of like that.”  
     “Anybody have Geometry after this?” Sollux asked. Nepeta furrowed her brow, checking her schedule again.  
     “Mm, no, I have P.E.,” Aradia murmured.  
     “Oh, me too!” Nepeta answered.

     After lunch, Aradia, Equius, and Nepeta walked out to the gym together. Nepeta could see how nervous Equius was just by being in proximity to Aradia. It was really, _really_ sweet. Unfortunate, Nepeta thought, because she thought Aradia liked Sollux, but she would of course be there to encourage her friend. And, Equius and Aradia would be such a cute couple! The three of them sat up in the bleachers as the teacher went over her expectations for the course and they were given gym clothes and locker assignments. The first day back always went like this. It was the most uneventful, which left plenty of room for Nepeta to doodle in her notebook. Equius chided her for not paying attention.  
     “Equius, it’s _fine_. It’s syllabus day, and also gym class! It’s not like we’re going to be tested on this.”  
     “Yes, but she is discussing safety protocol for our daily workouts. You should listen.”  
     “You’re no fun.”  
     “I would simply loathe for you to hurt yourself because you were too busy drawing to take the lecture to heart. What is that anyway?”  
     Nepeta tried in vain to cover the doodle from Equius’ sight. It was a picture of her and Karkat holding hands with little hearts around them. “It’s nothing!”  
     “Is that you and Vantas?”  
     “…purrhaps.”  
     “Such wishful thinking.”  
     “Equius!! Don’t be rude. You never know what could happen.”  
     “Yes, but…” Equius grumbled, but didn’t say anything else. Nepeta frowned.  
     “You don’t have to say it, Equius.”  
     “I just don’t want you to get hurt…”  
     “You’re such a sap!”

      After that, Equius and Nepeta made their way to their last class, Spanish. In the room already were Sollux and Vriska… again. Nepeta glanced at Vriska, at the far side of the room, then went down the second row and plopped into a desk next to Sollux.  
     “Hi Pawlux!” she greeted him. He looked disgruntled.  
     “Good afternoon, Mr. Captor,” Equius said.  
     “Hey EQ. Hey, are we ever gonna collaborate?”  
     “On a… technological project?”  
     “Yeah, I could give your robots some better AI or something. I dunno. Message me.”  
     Nepeta didn’t want to eavesdrop on the rest of Equius and Sollux’s conversation, lest she be considered rude. The teacher came in and began addressing the class pretty promptly. Nepeta could tell she was going to have a difficult time with Spanish. The first day overall wasn’t bad, but a little overwhelming. Nepeta decided to watch a movie when she got home, and popped in _Frozen._ Karkat plopped down beside her, begrudgingly, about halfway through the movie. He grumbled when the trolls’ song came on.  
     “Fixer Upper… what kind of bullshit is that? You’re supposed to love people despite their flaws. ‘Fix this fixer upper up with a little bit of love’, fucking kill me.”  
     “You’re just mad because _you’re_ a fixer upper.”  
     “We all are! Everyone has flaws, Jesus.”  
     Nepeta didn’t respond, but she scooted closer to him on the couch. Karkat, in turn, curled into the pillow on the end. He looked like he had a lot on his mind. Nepeta chose not to press any further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 4/13
> 
> literally nothign happens in this chap ugh
> 
> sidenote my doc for this series is 400 pages now oml


	3. Uncomfortable Dance Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says on the tin

            “Nepeta, are you aware of the upcoming Homecoming dance next month?” Equius asked while the two were in the library one afternoon.  
            “Yeah! That kid from Adventure Club mentioned it.”  
            Equius shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I am…considering asking Aradia to the dance with me.” Nepeta immediately looked up from her textbook.  
            “OH MY GOD. Equius, you have to!!!” she squealed, which earned her a stern and frustrated look from the librarian. “Sorry,” Nepeta whispered. “Equius, you gotta ask her before someone else does! I don’t know why you’re so shy about liking her.”  
            “We are just… so different. I am not sure I can pluck up the courage.”  
            “Oh, I know what you mean. I want to ask Karkitty, but… I don’t think he’ll say yes.”  
            “Mm, yes, quite a dilemma.”  
            Nepeta set her pen down, suddenly getting an idea. She knew she was thinking way ahead.  
            “Oh! Oh oh oh!! I know!!”  
            “Nepeta, lower your voice.”  
            “Shoot, sorry. But, if you don’t ask Aradia and I don’t ask Karkat, maybe we could just go together!”  
            “As a date?”  
            “No, as furriends, silly! It would be better than going alone.”  
            “I suppose you’re right. Very well, if our dates do not work out, we should attend together,” Equius agreed, gathering up his belongings. Nepeta followed suit, smiling up at her friend. They were very different, that much was true, and the perception onlookers had of them was quite usually the opposite. People thought Nepeta was weak and innocent and stuck close to Equius because he would protect her, but she was scrappy and could hold her own in a fight, though if things really did get serious she didn’t doubt Equius _would_ protect her. He looked strong and and athletic and like a formidable foe. Which was true, Equius could beat the snot out of anybody if he wanted to and he was a former hockey player, but really Equius was kind of soft. He liked painting and was trying to get enrolled in dance classes in lieu of P.E., not even to mention his intelligence. Nepeta was always enthralled by the way he built robots and the fact that he’d given Vriska her prosthetic arm. And Equius always helped her with her homework, explaining things in a way she’d understand. Nepeta didn’t know what she’d do without Equius. Their friendship was so strong that Nepeta felt like it was some kind of intrinsic connection; that they’d be drawn to each other in any interation of the universe. They were a duo unlike any other, and yes, that led also assuming they were a couple, which was patently untrue, but she didn’t mind. She was glad to be going to Homecoming with her best friend!

            “Hey Meu!!” Nepeta said, coming into their shared bedroom once she got home. “Guess what?” Meulin didn’t turn from the desk, and Nepeta figured she had her aids out again. She tapped her older sister on the shoulder to get her attention. Once Meulin was looking at her, she held her hand up, thumb out, in front of and to the side of her face, then moved it in front of her face and ended with a sort of fist shape. _Guess what?_ Meulin made a shrugging motion. _What?_ Nepeta touched four fingers to her thumb, pointed her index finger downwards, held two fingers up, making sure they were touching, held her pinkie finger up by itself, went back to two fingers, then made a fist, before raising both hands and pointing her index fingers forward, then pointing her right hand off to the side and hooking her index finger a bit as her hand moved. She touched all four fingers to her palm, crossed her index finger over her middle, went back to the first shape, held her index finger up, held her pinkie finger up, then went back to the first shape again. To finish off the statement, she made a little dancing motion. _Equius is going to ask Aradia to the dance._ Meulin clapped both hands to the side of her face and started squealing loudly.  
            “OMG OMG OMGOM OMG OMG OGM MGO MOG MOG OMG!!!” She sprang out of the desk chair, jumping up and down a little bit with Nepeta before putting her hearing aids back in. “It’s about time Equius started hanging out with someone other than you!!”  
            “Everyone thinks he’s so weird, even our friends. Which he is, to be fair.”  
            “Trueeeee. Hey! Speaking of ships and Zahhaks, how’s Horuss? He’s dating Rufioh, right??”  
            “Yeah! I dunno, Horuss says Rufioh’s acting weird lately but they’re still going to Homecoming together, and Horuss is optimistic about things!” Nepeta hummed at her sister. Meulin glanced down at her phone for a moment. Nepeta caught enough of a glimpse to see the screenname _terminallyConfidential._ Meulin tapped out a message, then grabbed her purse. “Okay, I’m gonna go see a movie with Kurloz,” she said, patting Nepeta on the head. Nepeta climbed up to her bed and flopped belly-down onto it, pulling out her tablet to watch _The Cat Returns_ for probably the 400th time.

            The next day at school, during lunch, Nepeta’s attention was drawn by an unfamiliar voice.  
            “Hey, Karkat!” Nepeta looked up from the table, too, to see a boy with messy dark hair and square-framed glasses and buckteeth waving at Karkat from across the cafeteria before slowly approaching their table.  
            “I’m sorry, did I fucking invite you to sit here, Egbert?” Karkat scowled. There were a few other kids with the guy who waved at Karkat: a blonde boy with sunglasses on, a taller girl with dark skin, darker hair, and bright green eyes behind large, round glasses, and a pale girl with lighter blonde hair held back by a lilac headband. She recognized the boy Karkat greeted as ‘Egbert’ from her Geometry class, and she recognized the short girl from her Biology class. The blonde boy frowned.  
            “Oh fuck no, you three?” he said, gesturing to Karkat, Gamzee, and Tavros. “These are the pricks from my Spanish class.” Egbert frowned at the other boy.  
            “Come on, Dave, Karkat isn’t so bad!”  
            Karkat begrudgingly scooted over, making room for Egbert to squeeze in. The four kids began introducing themselves to the group, and Nepeta learned their names were John, Rose, Dave, and Jade. After that day, they stuck around. They were fun to talk to sometimes, though Nepeta talked mostly to Rose and sometimes Jade. Rose and Nepeta once spent an afternoon showing each other pictures of their cats—Rose’s was named Jaspers and her older sister had one named Vodka Mutini, and apparently there was a third named Frigglish that just came and went as he pleased. Before anyone knew what was happening, it was October, and the dance Nepeta had spoken to Equius about a few weeks prior was less than a fortnight away. Feferi was the one who brought it back up to the group.  
            “Boys, who’re you all gonna ask? Or have you already?” Nepeta probably got as embarrassed as most of the boys, considering she was _also_ planning on asking someone, and she was well-aware time was running out. Gamzee was the one to break the awkward silence that had settled.  
            “I ain’t asking nobody, gonna go with my motherfuckin’ self and have a good time,” he said. Feferi looked very put off by that answer.  
            “O-Oh… um, what about you, Karkat?”  
            “Don’t put me on the spot!” Karkat snipped at her. Oh man, his embarrassment _definitely_ meant he was going to ask someone at the table. There was _definitely_ a maths percent chance that someone was Nepeta. “What about you, princess? Who are you going with?”  
            “Oh, I already told Eridan I would go with him,” Feferi answered, her smile never even faltering.   
           “Not worth the time,” Vriska sneered. “He’s such a fucking pain; I can’t believe I ever dated him.”   
           “Because you were so _fuckin’ peachy_ , right, Vris?!” Eridan snapped back.  
            “Eridan, hush,” Feferi muttered. She was weirdly diplomatic, especially with Eridan. “He’s not so bad. Anyway… what about you, John?”  
            “I, uh…” John mumbled, stammering until Rose rescued him.  
            “John and I will be attending together. He never got the nerve up to ask anyone, and neither did I,” she said. Oh man, she was making heart eyes at KANAYA, Nepeta noticed. A new ship to add to her chart!! Rose and Kanaya would be adorable, but Kanaya was nervous and Rose was very sarcastic. It probably only made Kanaya more nervous. Nepeta scrawled it down in her notebook very quickly—Rose… Kan… Rose…mary? Rosemary. Perfect.  
            “’s cool, bro,” Dave said. Nepeta thought it was adorable how he was trying to reassure his friend. Crush? No. Friend… that was right, though Nepeta had a feeling Dave probably had a thing for John sometime in the past. “I wasn’t going to ask anyone to be my date either. I’m with Gamzee on that one.”  
            “Yeahhhh,” Gamzee slurred, fist-bumping Dave from across the table.  
            “As much fun as a date would be, I thought we could all just go as friends!” Jade said. “Buuuuut, I’m still curious. Who would you ask, Tavros?” Tavros got _so embarrassed._  
            “Uhm… I was going to ask… um…this girl, from English class. Uh, how about you, Equius?”  
            “I was… going to ask someone. But, if she says no I will go with Nepeta,” he said. Nepeta playfully punched him in the arm.  
            “You butt! I’m your second choice?” she said.  
            “I believed that was our arrangement…” Equius muttered.  
            “Naw, it is. I’m just teasing.”

             As Equius and Nepeta walked to their next class together, Equius let out a sigh.  
           “What’s wrong, Equius?”  
            “I am just nervous about asking Miss Droog to the dance.”  
            “If you don’t huuuryyyy, Sollux is gonna beat you to it!” Nepeta sang at him. She giggled a bit, but then stopped herself when she saw Equius’ expression. He really was nervous about it. “Aw, I’m sorry, Equius.”  
            “You’re right, though. She and Mister Captor have an… interesting dynamic, and she appears to have very little interest in me.”  
            “You need to go for it, Eq.”  
            “I know this. However, I am not sure how to go about it.”  
            “Well… I don’t know! Maybe you could paint her something.”  
            “That is… not a bad idea. Perhaps I will take my time in the art room after school today,” Equius muttered. “Are you going to ask Mister Vantas soon?”  
            “Why are you so formal about everything?” Nepeta deflected the question. “Calling everyone ‘Miss’ or ‘Mister’?”  
            “It is how I was raised, it is polite.”  
            “You don’t call me ‘Miss Leijon’.”  
            “Well…no. Not anymore. And it just occurred to me that you did not actually answer my question—are you going to ask Mister Vantas soon?”  
            “I guess I have to! I’m gonna try to later tonight..

             True to her word, Nepeta approached Karkat’s bedroom later that afternoon, only to find him flopping onto his bed.  
           “What’s wrong, Karkitty?”  
            “Nothing, Kankri’s just being a pain in the ass as usual. Ask the guy one question, he goes off…”  
            “Oh,” Nepeta answered. She tugged on the bottom of her beanie. “Well, Karkitty, there was something I wanted to ask you.” She could hear her own heart pounding in her chest. Karkat twisted on his bed to face her.  
            “Hey, Nep, did Pounce get dinner?” he asked. Oh no! The cat!  
            “Oh shoot!” she said, and darted downstairs. She hummed as she poured the kibble into Pounce de Leon’s bowl. He curled around her legs, meowing at her. “Here you go, Pounce.” She picked him up for a moment, and he licked her nose. Nepeta smiled, kissing the cat before he hopped out of her arms.  
            “Oh, good, you fed him,” a voice came. Nepeta turned around to see her mother gathering her things. “I’m going to run some errands. Did you want anything from the store, dear?”  
            “Naw, I’m okay. Thanks, Mom,” Nepeta said before heading back upstairs. She was stopped in the second-floor hallway by Kankri.  
            “Ah, Nepeta,” he said, “can you tell Meulin something for me?”  
            Nepeta raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”  
            “Can you let her know it makes me immensely uncomfortable that she ‘ships’ me, and other real people? It can be incredibly triggering to be told how much of a match I would make with others of our friends.”  
            “Why can’t you tell her yourself?”  
            Kankri sighed. “She takes out her hearing aids when I talk to her.”  
            Nepeta couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “That’s because you get really rambly!”  
            “Yes… thank you for the reminder.”  
            “She’s not here right now anyway, I think she went to Horuss’ today. Write a note or something,” Nepeta suggested before heading back up the second set of stairs to the narrow attic hallway that led to Karkat’s bedroom door. It was open, and the room was empty, much to Nepeta’s dismay. She walked back downstairs into the kitchen, where now Karkat’s dad, Solomon, was beginning to unload the dishwasher. “Hey Solomon, where did Karkat go?”  
            “He went to a movie with Sollux, I think,” he answered. “Why, did you need something from him?”  
            “Well, kiiiiiind of,” she twiddled her fingers, not wanting to explain to Solomon. He would probably think it was weird. “But it can wait.” That was only kind of true. Nepeta wasn’t sure how long it could wait. Someone else might try to ask him. She guessed that was the risk she was taking.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i dont rly know what to do with nepeta  
> she's a lot more passive than karkat and got less development in canon too sooooo im just making this up on the fly  
> the chapters are shorter ive noticed


	4. High School is a Shipper's Playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dress shopping and Homecoming. Nepeta helps out a couple friends, but can't seem to help herself.

            Nepeta still could not muster the courage to ask Karkat through the rest of the week, and then it was the weekend, Homecoming was a week away, and Nepeta still had not said anything to Karkat, despite the fact that they were climbing into the car along with their siblings with the explicit purpose of going to the mall, _just_ for Homecoming outfits. They stopped at the Maryams’ to pick up Porrim and Kanaya, and then again at the Ampora’s place.  
            “Wait, why the fuck are we at the Ampora’s place?” Karkat asked. Kankri didn’t answer, instead just honking the horn. After a moment, Cronus appeared in the doorway, heading over to the car. “You’ve got to be kidding.”  
            “We’re _carpooling,_ Karkat,” Kankri chided. Porrim huffed as well, as Cronus got into the car.  
            “Hey, you,” he said to Kankri, not even regarding the others in the back two rows of seats. As soon as Cronus was buckled in, they drove off again.  
            “So, um, Karkat,” Nepeta said. Karkat suddenly looked a bit tense. “Were you going to ask anytone to Homecoming?”  
            “Actually, Terezi asked me to go with her,” he said.  
            “Oh,” Nepeta muttered. Well, she couldn’t blame Terezi for asking Karkat. There was something of a history there, even if it was a little… messy. She took out her phone to message Equius.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 AC: hi equius!!  
AC: how’re things going with asking aradia out??  
CT: Ah.  
CT: Actually, it seems you were correct.  
CT: I spent too long twiddling my thumbs over it and I was informed that she already has a date for the evening.  
AC: awwww :(  
AC: i’m sorry, equius  
CT: It is no matter.  
CT: I’m sure the dance will be enjoyable nonetheless.  
CT: How are things going for you?  
AC: uhhhhhhmmmmm  
AC: about the same i guess  
AC: apparently karkitty is going to the dance with terezi  
CT: Ah, I see.  
AC: so i get to go with you, sweatquius!  
CT: Actually, I was contacted by Miss Peixes about the dance.  
CT: Apparently she is having a get-together of sorts beforehand, for pictures and dinner.  
AC: :O!!!!  
AC: that sounds fun!!  
CT: I figured you would say that.  
CT: I told her we would go.  
AC: ahhh okay!!  
AC: that sounds good.  
AC: anyway i need to go equius, we’re all going to the mall to get our dresses!  
CT: Who exactly is ‘we all’?  
AC: me and meu and kanaya and Porrim  
AC: also karkat kankri and cronus  
AC: but they’re not getting dresses  
CT: Of course.  
CT: I will let you go, then.  
CT: Oh, but please do send me a picture of your dress.  
AC: oh okay!!  
AC: will do :3

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 

            Once they got to the mall, the boys went off on their own while the girls made their way to the dress shop.  
            “Ahh, this is so exciting!!” Nepeta beamed. There were so many dresses, in so many colors and styles to choose from! “I don’t even know where to start!”  
            “I think green might be good on you, Nepeta,” Kanaya said, tugging her over to the section Porrim was already browsing. “What are you thinking about, Porrim?”  
            “Mm, I was thinking I might mix it up this year. Maybe black, or even red.” Nepeta didn’t stay as focused as the Maryams did. She flitted around grabbing a _lot_ of dresses to try on. Green, blue, even a pink one, even though she didn’t think she would end up getting that one. Meulin was still pondering over the green dresses with Kanaya, and Porrim was making circles in the store, only occasionally plucking a dress of the rack. Eventually, they all made their way to the dressing rooms and had a fashion show of sorts, helping each other make final decisions on which to buy. Porrim come out of her stall in a tight black dress with lots of little square cutouts around the chest, including one right in the middle. She was barely covered.  
            “Is this too much for high school?” she asked. Meulin’s jaw absolutely dropped and Porrim chuckled. “Close your mouth, darling, you’ll catch flies.”  
            “Mm, sorry Porrim! It’s just… no wonder everyone thinks you’re so hot!! If we weren’t basically cousins, I’d probably want to date you!”  
            “That’s… flattering, I suppose… at any rate, I think this might be a bit too risqué for Homecoming. Though I do like yours, Meu.”  
            Meulin looked down at what she was wearing. It was a strapless, deep green dress with a black lace overlay and a lot of sparkles. “Yeah! I think I’m going to get this one,” she said, smiling at Porrim. At that moment, Kanaya re-emerged from her stall, holding up one dress to compare to the one she was currently wearing.  
            “I can’t decide between the two,” she muttered.  
            “Definitely go with the one you’re wearing,” Porrim answered. It was also green, a bit darker than Meulin’s dress, and also had a lacy overlay on the torso piece, but the lace matched the fabric underneath, making it a much more subtle embellishment. It had short little sleeves and a little silver bit underneath the chest, just above where it fell into the skirt. Kanaya twirled and the skirt spun out a lot. Porrim ended up choosing another black dress, this one with a more conservative cutout and a slit that showed off her leg. And then, they were all waiting on Nepeta, who was wading through the fabric of all the dresses she’d decided not to take. The last one she tried on, as soon as she saw it in the mirror, she knew it was the one she wanted to get. It was just… so… Nepeta. It was… also… green. Wow. Apparently green was a running theme between the Leijons and the Maryams. BUT!! This one was different. It was a lighter green, and short, the skirt almost like a tutu the way it puffed and billowed out away from her. It had thick tanktop-like straps, and a blue strap around the waist that tied into a bow on the back and trailed behind her. It was almost like a blue cat tail, and Nepeta thought that was _awesome._ She walked out and showed it off to Kanaya, Porrim, and Meulin. Meulin’s eyes lit up, but Porrim and Kanaya looked… well, Kanaya looked mortified, and Porrim had this expression like she was trying to smile but it wasn’t quite genuine.  
  
            “Ehh… Nepeta, are you sure you don’t want one of the other ones? I thought the pink looked lovely on you,” Kanaya said.  
            “Mmm, nope! I like this one,” Nepeta smiled.  
            “I like it!!” Meulin said.  
            “Yay!! Oh, I almost forgot. I need to send a picture to Equius,” Nepeta said, heading back into the dressing-room stall to change back into her regular clothes, but fisrt she fished her phone out of her bag, pointed it at her reflection in the mirror and snapped a picture.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] sent photo to centaursTesticle [CT] \--

CT: Green and blue.  
CT: Seems appropriate.  
CT: Though, do you mind if I switched them around?  
AC: hmm???  
CT: The dress.  
CT: It’s green with blue embellishments.  
CT: I would prefer to wear blue with green embellishments.  
AC: oh!  
AC: wear whatever you want, equius!!  
CT: It is customary for couples to color-coordinate.  
AC: ummmm hey big stinky butt  
AC: we’re not a couple :P  
CT: I am aware of this, but we are attending together, no?  
AC: yessssss  
AC: i’m not saying it wouldn’t be cute to match, but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna!  
CT: Well, I would like to.  
AC: well then i won’t stop you!!

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

         

           Homecoming was that weekend, and it entailed Meulin and Nepeta fighting over space in the bathroom, Kankri fussing over his appearance for once in his life, and Karkat being crabby as usual, up until they actually _got_ to Feferi’s house and he got to see Terezi. Nepeta spotted Equius in the group, and pounced into a hug at him.  
            “Hi!!” she smiled as Equius caught her.  
            “You must stop jumping at me like that,” Equius muttered. Nepeta merely nodded towards her sister, who did the same at Kurloz, except he caught her at the waist and they nuzzled their noses together.  
            “Sorry, Equius, looks like it runs in the family. Get used to it,” Nepeta said, turning around to face the parents, armed with cameras. Among the sea of adults, Nepeta saw her mother, of course, as well as Karkat’s dad, and… pretty much everyone’s parents, except for… “Hey, where’s your dad?” she asked Equius.  
            “He… uh, couldn’t make it tonight. He had a prior engagement. I believe it was something for work.”  
            “Ohh…” Nepeta couldn’t help but feel bad for Equius. It seemed like his father was always too busy for him, just passing him off onto the help. He was always with Aurthour. It was… kind of depressing. That’s why he was lucky to have Nepeta! At least then he could have a little fun. Equius was so stiff all the time.

            They went to dinner, and then went to the dance, and overall? It was a pretty good time. Nepeta didn’t get to dance with Karkat, because he was too busy being grumpy about Terezi dancing with everyone else, but Nepeta _did_ dance with Terezi herself, and Jade a little bit, and yes, even Equius. He managed to smile and have a good time with his friends. And then… the mood in the room took a shift when the DJ announced a slow song would be coming up. Equius got very uncharacteristically embarrassed and left the dance floor for a moment, an action which Nepeta would _not accept._ She excused herself and followed him.  
            “What’s wrong, Equius?”  
            “I… wanted to ask Aradia to dance with me.”  
            “So?? Go do it!”  
            “You don’t understand, Nepeta, the mere _idea_ of speaking with her makes me nervous beyond belief. She is… interesting… different. I feel almost as though, I shouldn’t even be having these feelings for her.”  
            “Equiusssss, you’re overthinking things!”  
            “Her family… they are just so… low.”  
            Nepeta smacked Equius in the shoulder. “Who cares about that! Money and class and all that? It doesn’t matter.”  
            “You would say that.”  
            “Can you stop and listen to me for once? Just _ask_ her to dance. She might surprise you.”  
            Equius paused, turning to face Nepeta. “Do you really think so?”  
            “I think… and call me crazy, BUT. You won’t know unless you try. Duh.”  
            Equius cleared his throat, straightening himself out. “Fine, fine. When this goes over poorly, I will be back to speak to you about it.”  
            “Just _gooooo_ , you big dummy!” Nepeta said, pushing Equius towards Aradia and Sollux’s table. She watched with anticipation as Equius walked up behind Aradia. She saw them exchange a bit of conversation, and then Aradia got up with Equius. Ha! She knew it would work. Equius needed to take her advice more. And then, Nepeta got to thinking, maybe she should take her _own_ advice and ask Karkat to dance. He wasn’t with Terezi; Dave was dancing with Terezi. So… where was Karkat? Oh!! There he was, talking to Sollux, at the table. Nepeta started to walk over, and then the two boys stood up, and Nepeta paused. She didn’t want to ask him to dance in front of _Sollux._ He didn’t know about Nepeta’s crush. And then the two boys wandered off, and Nepeta missed her chance. She let out a small sigh, glancing up at Feferi, who happened to be walking past.  
            “Hey Nep!”  
            “Hey Feferi!”  
            “So, Equius and Aradia, huh?” Feferi asked.  
            “Mhm. Wellllll,” Nepeta thought for a moment, “not like a thing, but Equius really likes her.”  
            “Oh! I thought Aradia and Sollux would… hmm,” Feferi pondered for a moment. “So, Sollux is free at the moment?”  
            “Wow, um, I guess!” Nepeta got an inkling of why Feferi was asking. “Whyyyy, do you _liiiiike_ him, hmmm?” she asked, nudging Feferi with her shoulder.  
            “Mmm… kind of,” Feferi admitted, turning a shade of pink.  
            “Dance with him!” Nepeta said, feeling a bit redundant.  
            “He won’t dance…”  
            “Well, just ask.”  
            “Ah, I… I guess I could,” Feferi said. Nepeta quietly clapped her hands together. Feferi and Sollux would be so cute!! Once the slow song ended, Nepeta went back to the dance floor. Equius was beaming. He approached her, grabbed her hands and twirled her around.  
            “Well you’re in a good mood!”  
            “I got to dance with her! Ah, Nepeta, I should heed your advice more often.”  
            “Oh, go figure,” Nepeta stuck her tongue out, but really, she was happy Equius had finally done _something_ instead of hopelessly pining. Now if only she could do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaaaaaaa i have no idea what im doing
> 
> meulin's dress: https://christinablair1012.wordpress.com/2014/08/18/stunning-emerald-green-short-homecoming-dresses-2014/
> 
> this is the first dress porrim tried on: https://www.maykool.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/d/r/dresses-black-strappy-caged-sexy-bandage-dress-012835.jpg
> 
> but this is her actual homecoming dress: https://www.axparis.com/image/cache/catalog/NEW-Navy-Maxi-Dress-With-Thigh-High-Split-1-850x1218-850x1218-850x1218.jpg
> 
> and kanaya's: http://www.azbro.com/long-prom-dresses/213596-women-s-floral-lace-paneled-v-neck-prom-dress.html?gclid=Cj0KEQjwuOHHBRDmvsHs8PukyIQBEiQAlEMW0ENh7CPqJVIFBG-MQ5ta5Jv1fhAd1Lp85wadgmDrJiYaAgDh8P8HAQ
> 
> (no link to nepetas cause i made it up)
> 
> EDIT: Lovely art by somekindoffan.tumblr.com


	5. Superheros Always Get the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween rolls around, and someone gets a date.

            “Hey, Nepeta,” Tavros tapped her on the shoulder in Biology class the next week. “Rufioh’s trying to talk me into having a Halloween party.”  
            “Whaaaat, no trick-or-treating??” Nepeta answered.  
            “Yeah, see? That’s what _I_ sai—ah, achoo!!”  
            “Gesundheit! Sorry, I probably have a lot of cat dander on my clothes,” Nepeta looked down at her hoodie. It was, in fact, covered in Pounce’s fur. He wouldn’t leave her alone that morning and now poor Tavros was dealing with his terrible cat allergies because of it.  
            “Ah, it’s alright, I jus- s- achoo!”  
            “Anyway, about the party, hmm… I think it could be fun!”  
            “Yeah?”  
            “Yeah!!”  
            “Okay,” Tavros hesitated. “Maybe I’ll run it by the others,” he said, tapping his pencil against his desk. Nepeta smiled at him.

            “Hey, guys, my parents are out of town, so I was thinking of, having a Halloween party, at my house maybe?” Tavros introduced the idea to their friends at lunch that afternoon. This got more than a few surprised glances shot his direction. It was unusual to say the least for Tavros to suggest something of that nature, or even… to really speak up at all. Nepeta thought he was dangerously shy. It was going to get him stepped all over. More than he was already, anyway. Vriska laughed.  
            “That’s ballsy, Tavros. What happens if you get in trouble?”  
            “Ummmm, I don’t know… Rufioh’s in charge.”  
            “Ohhhhhhhh, no nosey neighbor babysitting this time?”   
            “I haven’t seen Mr. Boxcars around the last couple days. I think it should be fine,” Tavros said. Nepeta had her little hands curled into fists. Why was Vriska so mean to him? Tavros didn’t deserve it, he was so kind to everyone. Vriska was just a big mean… bully. Nepeta didn’t understand how Equius could tolerate her. Terezi, thankfully, cut off Vriska before she got too derisive.  
            “That sounds really fun, Tavros. It’s been a while since we all had a party.”  
            “I’ve been meaning to host more!” Feferi added. “I think the holiday season will be better for parties at my house.” Awww, yeah, Feferi lived in a mansion. Parties there were usually great, even if Fef tended to get a bit carried away with décor.  
            “Th- that’s okay, Fef, you shouldn’t have to host all the time,” Tavros answered. “So, yeah, you guys are all invited over for Halloween.”  
            “Halloween sucks, though,” Sollux lisped. He had some kind of grievance with Halloween in particular. Nepeta knew that Kurloz knew why, but obviously it never got past his lips. It was something that had happened a couple years ago, and Kurloz’s own incident with Meulin was before that. Nepeta saw Feferi nudge Sollux with her elbow, and he changed his tune. “Ah—fine, sounds like a plan then.”  
            “Yeah?” Tavros asked, looking around at them, beaming. Nepeta smiled back, but then noticed that there were only 15 at their table. Tavros seemed to notice too, because he spoke up again. “Oh… where’s Aradia?” His eyes locked with Sollux, but Nepeta was looking at Equius.  
            “Don’t look at me! I have no idea what her deal is,” Sollux said, sinking in his seat. Equius shrugged at Nepeta, going unnoticed by everyone else.  
            “Oh no…” Tavros muttered. He and Aradia were good friends; Nepeta knew he would want Aradia at the party.  “Um… Nepeta, you have your next class with Aradia, right?”  
            “Yeah… we have P.E. together!” Nepeta said.  
            “Could you, uh, do me a favor and tell her about the party?”  
            “Of course, Tavfurros!”

            While they walked to the gym for class, Equius cleared his throat to gather Nepeta’s attention. Not that he needed to; they were already walking together.  
            “Nepeta,” he said, voice deep and stern as ever.  
            “Yesssss?”  
            “I have a request for you.”  
            “What is it.”  
            “Can you ask Aradia if she’s doing alright? We haven’t spoken since Homecoming. In fact, I don’t believe she’s had much contact with _anyone_ since Homecoming.”  
            “Why can’t you ask her yourself?”  
            “I just believed that since Tavros requested you tell her about the party anyway, it would not be trouble for you. Besides, girls tend to speak to girls differently than they speak to boys. You tend to be more open with each other.”  
            “You big stink butt. I’m not going to hit on her for you!”  
            “That was not what I meant! You… gosh-darned sillyface. Please, just ask her how she’s doing.”  
            “Ughhhh, fine. But you owe me!”  
            “Of course,” Equius deadpanned. Nepeta bounded into the girls’ locker room, getting dressed before peering down the next row over at Aradia. The two girls made eye contact, but Aradia didn’t say anything. It probably looked weird that she was watching her get dressed, so Nepeta had to initiate the conversation.  
            “Hey Aradia,” Nepeta said. Aradia turned towards her. “You weren’t at lunch today.”  
            “How kind of you to notice,” Aradia muttered, pulling her gym shirt on.  
            “Is everything okay?”  
            “Yes, Nep, everything is fine. I’m having a rough time at home lately.”  
            “Oh nooo, Aradia, that’s no good! Do you need someone to talk to?”  
            “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Besides, don’t you think this is kind of a strange place to talk about my mental welfare?”  
            “Well, I just wanted to check on you,” Nepeta said, grinning at her friend.  
            “Why?” Aradia asked, her voice deadpan.  
            “Beclaws you’re my friend, silly! And Equius asked me to, heehee.”  
            “Oh.” Aradia looked a bit unsure at how to react to that comment. Nepeta grew quiet for a moment before raising her olive green eyes back to Aradia. “Um, Tavros told me in Biology class this morning he was thinking about throwing a Halloween party, or a get-together or something… and we talked about it at lunch and uhm, he asked me to mention it to you.” For some reason, she was hesitant to bring it up. Aradia met Nepeta’s nervous glance. “That might be nice,” she murmured.  
            “So… you’ll go?”  
            Aradia shrugged. “Halloween’s a few weeks away.”  
            “Aradia, it’s next Saturday.”  
            “Oh.” Nepeta thought it odd that Aradia had lost track of the days, but, whatever, it wasn’t any of her business. Clearly there was something going on in Aradia’s home life that was messing with her head, but if Aradia didn’t want to talk about it, there wasn’t much that Nepeta could do. They were ushered out of the locker room by Ms. Mendicant and ran outside as class started. Nepeta relayed the information to Equius.

            After school that week, Equius and Nepeta went shopping for Halloween costumes, not wanting to leave it to the last minute. Nepeta was sure Karkat was going to throw something together half-assedly. That was, if he went to the party at all. Nepeta found herself a Catwoman costume (best Batman villain, bar none) and Equius paced around the store a few times, searching for something ‘suitable to his interests’ before settling on some overly-metallic piece of shit passing itself off as a robot costume. Wow, Karkat’s colorful vocabulary must have rubbed off on Nepeta a little bit.  
            “Do you think this is suitable?” Equius asked. Nepeta tilted her head to the side, looking at the picture on the packaging.  
            “I think… hmm. It’s a little tacky.”       
            Equius lifted the costume in its package back up to eye level. “Hmm.” Nepeta glanced at the costumes around her, and got an idea.  
            “Oh!! You could go as _Hawkeye!!”  
_ “Pardon?”  
            “Hawkeye, like the Avenger? He’s even got a little bow and arrow, look,” she said, pulling one off the rack. Equius raised an eyebrow over his little fake cracked glasses.  
            “A superhero?”  
            “Kind offfff…” Nepeta paused. Did Hawkeye count as a hero? He didn’t have any powers, but… he was an Avenger. So… yeah! “We can be like a comic book duo! Even though they’re not from the same universe…”  
            “Nepeta, I am planning to ask Aradia out officially, on a date at this party. Which do you think would appeal more to her?” Equius asked, speaking quickly.  
            “Ahhhh! Equius, are you serious?!”  
            “Er… yes, of course.”  
            “Wear the Hawkeye one, superheros always get the girl,” Nepeta waggled her eyebrows. Equius didn’t say anything, but gave a quick nod at her and returned the robot costume to the rack. 

           Before anyone could even blink, it was Halloween. As expected, Karkat was a half-assed mummy, basically doing nothing but wrapping himself in toilet paper with Kanaya’s help; she’d come over to get ready with them before walking over to Tavros’ house. Nepeta was packing up her overnight bag while Kanaya finished her makeup, and Karkat was out in the hall talking to her about something or other. Probably Rose. Just between the interactions at the lunch table, it looked like Rose and Kanaya had some kind of thing. Nepeta couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed pretty likely. There was definitely some pining going on from Kanaya, anyways. Nepeta managed to pick up the tail end of Kanaya and Karkat’s conversation, though.  
            “…bly straight anyway,” Karkat’s voice grumbled.  
            “Oh? What makes you say that?”  
            “It’s just my shitty luck.”  
            “Don’t be so pessimistic,” Kanaya chided him. Nepeta furrowed her brow. Why would Karkat call it shitty luck for someone to be straight? Unless… Karkat was crushing on a guy. So what did that mean for Nepeta’s crush? Everyone in the group was pretty open about their sexualities, and Karkat wasn’t explicitly straight, but he’d shown preference for girls (he’d shown preference for Terezi) in the past. Of course, they were young, so it was possible that things were changing. Oh well. Nepeta didn’t want to overthink it, it would only stress her out.  
            “Okay, you look as perfect as ever; can we go? Nepeta!” Karkat called. Not wanting them to think she’d been eavesdropping, Nepeta bounded down the hall and joined Karkat and Kanaya, and the three of them started walking to Tavros’ house a couple blocks away.

            By the time they got there, the party had already started. Everyone was dancing and having a good time. Nepeta dropped her bag in the pile by the door and sprang off to find Equius. She was curious as to what he was planning to do to ask Aradia out. He was lingering in the kitchen, talking to Vriska, and Nepeta waved him down.  
            “Equius!!!” she bounded over to the two of them as Vriska patted Equius on the shoulder.  
            “Don’t worry, Zahhak, I got it covered,” Vriska said, before vanishing around a corner.  
            “Ah… alright then,” Equius said, even thought Vriska was already gone, and then he turned to Nepeta. “Good evening, Nepeta.”  
            “Hey Eq! I told you that costume would look good,” she said, gesturing at Equius. “We almost kind of match. Maybe it would have been better if I were Black Widow…” Nepeta pondered for a moment. “Hey, what’re you gonna do about asking Aradia out?”  
            “Nepeta, hush!”  
            “Relaaaaax, they can’t hear me over the music.”  
            “I have made an arrangement…”  
            “With Vriska?”  
            “Er… no.” Nepeta wasn’t sure how honest Equius was being, but she was just glad he was going to stop being a big dumb baby about having a crush. She didn’t know why he was being so awkward about it. Maybe he felt weird about dating someone outside of his social class? His dad was always weirdly stuck up about the social hierarchy. He’d probably prefer it if Equius dated someone more… aristocratic than Aradia. Or, at least, as aristocratic as they could get in Skaia. She tutted at Equius, but didn’t say anything else. The music faded, and Nepeta looked up at the radio, finding Vriska’s hand at the volume dial. Big surprise.  
            “Hey losers! Come on, we’re starting another game in here,” she said. Equius glanced down at Nepeta before walking into the main room, and Nepeta, albeit a bit hesitantly, followed him. As everyone shuffled into the other room, waiting for Vriska to explain what was happening, the front door opened and in walked John, Dave, Rose, and Jade. “John!” Vriska greeted him with a hug. “You’re just in time, we’re playing 7 Minutes in Heaven.”  
            “Oh,” John muttered. “Okay.” Rose and Jade found a spot to stand next to Nepeta, and Karkat and Sollux came in from wherever they’d been and joined the boys’ side.  
            “Alright, everyone, it’s time for 7 Minutes in Heaven!” Vriska said again. Nepeta felt a little uncomfortable with what was happening. Thankfully, Sollux spoke up.  
            “Vriska, please, this is so ridiculous.”  
            “Shut your lispy mouth, asshat,” Vriska snipped. Why was she like that! Nepeta hated it. “You don’t have to play, but there’s always the chance for some alone time with the freaky girl of your dreams. I have taken the liberty of putting all the ladies’ names into this hat, and all the boys’ into Terezi’s,” Vriska explained, before stepping forward towards the boys’ line and holding out her pirate hat towards Tavros. “Tavros, if you would do the honors?”  
            “Um, Aradia…?” Tavros said, not nearly as vicarious about it as Vriska was being. Nepeta wasn’t sure what to think of the whole thing, but Aradia was quickly hoisted off by Vriska and ushered into the closet, before Vriska came back to the group and plucked a piece of paper out of Terezi’s cop hat.  
            “And our lucky guy is… Equius Zahhak!” There were a few small gasps, but Nepeta grinned and bounced on her heels. It was happening! Equius gave Nepeta a small smile as he walked past her towards the closet Aradia was waiting in. Everyone kind of slowly drifted out of the room, probably feeling sufficiently awkward, but Nepeta awaited Equius’ reaction, and Sollux was sticking around for some reason, though he looked pretty upset. Once Vriska yanked the closet doors open and Aradia and Equius came out, Nepeta spotted Equius trying to hold Aradia’s hand. So… he must have said something, right? Sollux left the room, and Aradia looked sullen as she followed. And then Tavros pulled Vriska outside, leaving just Nepeta and Equius. Nepeta sat cross-legged on the floor.  
            “So, did you ask her out??” Nepeta prodded. Equius grunted as he sat down next to her.  
            “Yes.”  
            “What did she say??”  
            “She… didn’t say much of anything. I think, it was a yes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a little bit more direction for the next few chapters so hopefully i will feel less like im aimlessly rehashing these events from nepeta's pov
> 
> cause like... idk, it's kinda like she's just sort of there?? im really ambivalent about this part of the series even though i heart nepeta ugh


	6. Rejection Stings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta takes some time to reflect

           Nepeta couldn’t be more proud of Equius. He’d taken the plunge that even Nepeta was too scared to take. Nepeta was sure there was something else going on with Karkat, but she was also sure that she needed to get over her nerves and say something to him. She had the lingering feeling that it would end in rejection, but… better to put everything out there, right? She’d been kind of avoiding talking to him about her feelings for a while, but if Equius could do it, so could she. Vriska walked back inside, and Equius stood up from where he’d been sitting. Vriska and Equius just looked at each other for a moment, Vriska’s eyes darting to meet Nepeta’s, but neither of them siaid anything. Instead, Vriska just slinked into the other room, and Equius followed, leaving Nepeta on her own. She fell backwards onto the carpet, looking up at the ceiling. There was so much drama in high school. Gosh. A face appeared above her, purple eyes blinking at her from behind thick-rimmed glasses.  
            “Eridan?” Nepeta asked, sitting up.  
            “Yeah,” he answered, plopping down next to her.  
            “Shouldn’t you be bugging Fefurri?”  
            “Man. She’s talking to Sollux about something. That guy, what a fuckin’ drama machine. It’s fuckin’ pathetic.”  
            “Oh.” Nepeta shifted a little bit, not really sure what to say. She and Eridan weren’t exactly friends.  
            “Yeah, looks like everyone has got someone,” Eridan muttered. “Except for me. And you.” Nepeta raised an eyebrow at him. “Aradia and Equius, Tavros and… Vriska? Sollux and Fef. Eugh. Kanaya and Rose, Terezi and Kar.”  
            “Terezi and Karkat aren’t dating…” Nepeta pondered.  
            “Aren’t they?”  
            “No.”  
            “Oh,” Eridan said, and then the awkward silence settled again. “Hey, Nep?”  
            “Hmm.”  
            “What d’ya think of… well, I was thinking… maybe you and I could go out sometime.” Nepeta stared Eridan dead in the face. What. The. Hell.  
            “Are you… asking me on a date?” Nepeta asked. She hardly spoke to Eridan; where was this coming from?  
            “Yeah, I just figure, we don’t really hang out all that much, maybe we should change that?” Eridan said, scooting a bit closer to Nepeta. She felt her nose twitch a little bit as she tried to figure out what to say to Eridan. She didn’t have anything remotely close to feelings for him and the whole thing felt like it was coming right out of left field, like… what? Still, Nepeta didn’t want to be rude. It seemed like Eridan was just lonely.  
            “Ummm… no thanks,” Nepeta answered, moving away from him a little bit.  
            “What the fuck, why not?”  
            “I just don’t have those sorts of feelings for you, Eridan.”  
            “God, this is…” Eridan muttered, not bothering to finish the thought. His face turned a funny shade of scarlet, like he’d caught himself saying something he didn’t want to say. He locked eyes with Nepeta, then just scowled deeply and walked away. Nepeta didn’t really know what to make of the whole thing.  
            “That was weird,” she muttered to herself before also wandering back into the main room to join the others. Karkat was wedged between the arm of the couch and Jade, and the rest of the couch was taken, so Nepeta settled onto the other couch next to Equius while they watched Corpse Bride. Nepeta wasn’t one for scary movies, so she was glad they’d settled on something animated. She watched, and as the movie progressed, she felt bad for the Corpse Bride-- Emily? All she wanted was to be loved, but Victor was already in love with someone else. Highly relatable content. And Emily didn’t get a happy ending. What if that was the same for Nepeta? What if she didn’t get to have her happy ending? She hated to think about it, but it was the only thing on her mind for the rest of the night, even as she tried to fall asleep on the floor of Tavros’ guest room. What if… Nepeta wound up with nobody? She tried to reason with herself; she’d always have Equius. It wasn’t the same; she knew that, but still. It was better than really having no friends. Equius was so great. All their other friends thought he was just a big sweaty weirdo, but really, he was SO MUCH MORE than a big sweaty weirdo. Nepeta was reasonably sure of that, as she’d also thought he was a big sweaty weirdo when they met. They were about 12; Nepeta and her family had just moved to Skaia after her mom rekindled an old flame, and Nepeta was ‘that weird new kid at Alternia Middle School’. It probably didn’t help that she spent lunch periods roleplaying as a cat hunting mice on the baseball field. But that was just how Nepeta had fun! Other kids could be so judgemental. That was precisely what she was doing one afternoon when she overheard something.  
            “What’s wrong, Zahhak? Did you forget your milk?” Nepeta turned, seeing a few boys who were maybe a year older than her standing around a boy who was notably larger than them, at least in terms of height, though he did look pretty strong, too, like he could definitely take them in a fight. But he wasn’t fighting back.  
            “Please, stop,” the tall boy said.  
            “What are you going to do about it? Go cry to Mommy?”     
            “I do not want to fight you.” Nepeta frowned as the boys taunted him, laughed at him. She rolled up the sleeves of her vastly oversized jacket, and walked over to them.  
            “You better leave him alone!” she shouted. She was definitely smaller than all of them, she realized, as they all turned on her.  
            “Or what, Catgirl?”  
            “I will claw you up so furricking good, you have no idea.”  
            “Dude, we can’t fight a girl,” one of the guys said.  
            “We can’t fight an _autistic_ girl,” another one echoed. The main guy sneered at Nepeta.  
            “She’s the one who came over here instigating,” he said. “You wanna stick up for Sweaty McGee here? Fine.” And just as he raised a fist to her, Nepeta sucker-punched him in the stomach, and he doubled over in pain. One of the other guys lunged at her and she ducked out of the way and gave him a swift kick between the legs. The third guy grabbed her from behind, and she squirmed in his arms, trying to escape, but he had her pinned. Nepeta felt an impact, and then the boy holding her nearly collapsed. When she turned around, the boy they’d been picking on was shaking his hand, the bully that grabbed her was holding his nose, and the three of them ran off.  
            “Are you okay?” she asked the tall boy.  
            “Me? Yes, I am fine, they didn’t even touch me. Are you okay?”  
            “Yeah! I kicked their butts!” Nepeta smiled. “Why’d you let them get away with picking on you like that? You’re strong, you don’t have to take that.”  
            “I do not like to be violent,” he answered, voice sullen. “I only resort to such things when it comes to protecting others.”  
            “Ohhhhhh…” Nepeta muttered. “Hey, you seem cool! What’s your name?”  
            “Equius. Equius Zahhak.”  
            “Nice to meet you, Equius! I’m Nepeta Leijon.” She extended a hand to him, and he sort of awkwardly reached out and shook it, looking rather unsure as to whether he should smile or not. After that, they kind of stuck together as a weird little duo. The big guy who looked more like a bodyguard than a best friend, and the little girl who could kick your ass if you looked at them sideways but didn’t because he wouldn’t approve. It was about a year later that Nepeta and Equius started hanging out with Karkat and the others, and Equius was still socially awkward, but having more friends helped, Nepeta thought. So, yeah, they would always stick together, but everyone who thought they were dating… that was just silly. Boys and girls could be friends without having feelings for each other. If anyone was proof of that, it was Nepeta and Equius.

            When she woke up in the morning, Nepeta felt oddly refreshed, considering everything she’d thought about the night before. She was glad Equius was making progress with how he handled his feelings. Everyone was so stoic in his house; they didn’t know how to express themselves. Well, except for Horuss, but Nepeta wasn’t sure that his constant smiling was truly reflective of how he felt. She was pretty sure that had come with Meulin’s advice of “BE OPTIMISTIC!!” Which… wasn’t actually very helpful advice, the more Nepeta thought about it. Solomon came to pick up her and Karkat, and they went back home. Karkat looked tired, and even grumpier than usual, if that was even possible. He dropped onto the couch and flicked through the movies on demand before settling on _Good Luck Chuck._ Wow, Dane Cook _and_ a romcom? It was everything Karkat loved rolled into one! Nepeta didn’t care for Dane Cook as an actor, but she couldn’t turn down a romantic movie, and she flopped onto the couch, over the armrest next to Karkat, and even Kankri walked around the couch and sat down on Karkat’s other side.  
            “Kankri, what are you doing? You don’t even like romcoms!” Karkat asked.  
            “I am seeing how relationships are portrayed in your movies; something currently feels off in mine.”  
            “I keep telling you, it’s because Cronus is trying to get into your overly tight pants.” Nepeta stifled a laugh. Kankri basically wore skinny jeans and nothing but skinny jeans, but instead of pulling it off like Dave did (class coolkid right there, wow, Nepeta wanted to get to know him better) Kankri pulled his up practically to his belly button. You could never even see the belt loops underneath his turtlenecks and cardigans and sweater vests. Kankri didn’t respond to Karkat and Karkat slumped so far in his seat that he was nearly melting onto the floor. Nepeta sat up and leaned towards Karkat, trying to rest her head on his shoulder. Karkat rescinded violently away from her. “God _dammit,_ Nepeta leave me alone! I know you have a crush on me, and it’s really awkward and weird and I’m sorry, but I _don’t_ have those feelings for you!” Nepeta shirked at the other end of the couch, not able to form words for a moment. She felt the beginning of tears prickling in her eyes and she stood up, not wanting Karkat to see her upset, but she couldn’t help but feel stung. “Shit, Nep, I didn’t want to be so harsh, I just—” His voice was static. She couldn’t focus on the words he was saying, just feeling the ache in her heart. She blinked away tears, but they came anyway, and the only thing Nepeta could think to do was escape into her room.

            Meulin arrived not much later; having spent the night with Kurloz and probably Horuss, too, and she looked up at her younger sister, who was clearly distraught, and was ripping pages out of her notebook, crumpling them into balls, and throwing them in the general direction of the trashcan. Meulin shut the door behind her.  
            “Hey Nepeta, what’s wrong?” Meulin asked, her volume actually at a reasonable level, which was evidence enough she was wearing her hearing aids.  
            “Karkat yelled at me,” Nepeta said, voice sullen. “He doesn’t like me.”  
            “Noooo, I’m sure he likes you.”  
            “I mean _like_ like, Mews.”  
            “Oh, that.” Meulin started picking up all the paper balls and putting them in the trashcan. “Do you want a hug?” Nepeta nodded, pushing back more tears as she hopped off her bed and fell into her sister’s arms. Meulin let Nepeta take her time as Nepeta sniffled and Meulin held her tight, rubbing her back gently. “It’ll be okay, Nep.”  
            Nepeta sniffled again. “I know.”  
            Meulin leaned back, then smiled gently at Nepeta. “Hey, do you wanna go get some ice cream? That’s the best for times like this.” Nepeta laughed a small laugh before giving Meulin a slight nod, and the two were off, walking to the ice cream place down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having a terrible week so of course im throwing myself into my writing lmao
> 
> i took a bunch of time to make an actual outline so now i vaguely know what im doing for the rest of this section. i want to make a full one but that requires me to actually think out the next section before i get to it ;^;
> 
> ((also in regards to that comment about nep being autistic; i put that in because karkat had a line about it in canon ["KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ASKING AN AUTISTIC GIRL IN A CAVE TO JOIN HIS TEAM."] but i wasn't sure if nep's actually autistic or if kar was trying to be derogatory so i wanted to say something to the same effect and leave it ambiguous))


	7. Meulin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meulin ponders her past and some of life's great dilemmas

            Meulin spent Halloween sprawled out on a beanbag in her boyfriend’s basement. She was staring at the ceiling for a moment, until she heard Kurloz’s footsteps coming back down the stairs. She sat up, mostly due to the fact that they couldn’t communicate without looking at each other, and smiled at him as he flopped into the beanbag opposite her, holding a bowl of popcorn. He pointed down at it, then gestured towards Meulin. She shook her head no. Kurloz nodded, then raised his hands to sign something at Meulin.  
            **_Meenah told me something interesting the other day._**  
            Meulin looked at him quizzically, then signed back at him.  
            _What was that?_  
_**She said there was some kind of rumor going around? She heard from someone that, ‘Meulin keeps her weed in her bra. She’ll share it with you if you reach down and get it yourself.’**_  
_That’s ridiculous. You of all people would know if I kept my weed in my bra,_ Meulin signed at him, waggling her eyebrow. Kurloz’s eyes widened, and Meulin would bet anything he was blushing underneath his skeleton makeup. They were kind of an odd combination. Kurloz creeped people out, because he was lanky and tall and dark, and he was mute, and the grim facepaint and goth clothes probably didn’t help, but that was just who he was. It was kind of her fault he was mute in the first place, but he would never accept that. In fact, he felt like it was his fault that she was deaf, when really the whole thing was a huge accident relating to Kurloz’s old screamo band.  
            Meulin and Kurloz had been dating for a long time, at least since they were sophomores, shortly after Meulin moved to Skaia. So, Meulin was trying to be cute and surprise him one afternoon, not knowing he had band practice. When she arrived at the Makara house, they’d already started setting up, so she tucked herself into a corner, knees tucked up to her chin as she waited for the band to start up. Kurloz was pacing around, muttering instructions to the others, Mituna on drums and Rufioh on guitar. Kurloz himself was the singer-slash-screamer, and the bass player. Meulin was just so excited to hear them perform and surprise Kurloz that she was completely ignorant of the fact that the big black box she’d sat next to was, in fact, the amp.  
            “Okay, guys, let’s start with The Great Honk?” she heard Kurloz say, and then he paced over to the microphone, and absolutely _wailed_ into it. Not only was Kurloz a loud screamer, but apparently, someone had messed up the audio levels, and Meulin was practically knocked down by the sound waves. She knocked over a cardboard box as she fell over, covering her ears and crying, only… she couldn’t hear herself crying. She felt a footstep and looked up to see Kurloz in an absolute panic. He was mouthing something, but nothing came out. He helped Meulin up and hugged her, and she was aware she was still crying, but there was still no sound, and that’s when she realized, putting the pieces together in her little 15-year-old brain. She was deaf. When Kurloz let go of her, it looked like he was trying to say something else. She frowned and pointed at her ear, mouthing ‘I can’t hear you’. The look on Kurloz’s face was mortified. He cleared the guys out and sat cross-legged on the floor, signaling for Meulin to sit as well. He pulled a notebook and pen off the counter and scrawled a message, sliding it over to Meulin.  
            **_I am SO SORRY._**  
            Meulin furrowed her brow and wrote a response. _No, it’s my fault, I should have been more careful; I should have known where I was sitting._  
            **_I should have noticed you. What were you doing here anyway?_**  
_I wanted to hang out with you, but I thought a surprise might be cute._  
_**It would have been, if I were paying more attention…**_  
Meulin looked up from the notepad at Kurloz. He was making little faces of agitation. Meulin didn’t know what else to say—write—so she just slid the notebook back at him.  
            **_You should go._**  
_Why?_  
_**You don’t want to be here when I do what I’m about to do.**_  
_Kurloz, don’t do anything rash, this isn’t your fault!  
_ Kurloz didn’t write anything else, he just slammed the notepad on the floor and skulked back inside. Meulin didn’t know what else to do, so she just walked back home to find a monologue of indigo text on her Pesterchum.

terminallyConfidental [TC]  began pestering alleycatCupid [AC]

TC: I cannot begin to describe the guilt I am feeling over this.  
TC: You know I would never hurt you.  
TC: And now, to have taken away your hearing,  
TC: Only because I was too oblivious to notice you  
TC: Because you wanted to do something sweet  
TC: And surprise me  
TC: Motherfucker!  
TC: For this I am going to pay repentance the only way I see fit  
AC: kur are you on something right now?  
TC: Not yet.  
TC: I’m going to take some painkillers and then see what’s in my stash.  
TC: I don’t want to be fucking sober when I do what I’m about to do.  
AC: what are you about to do?  
TC: I’m going to take away the thing that has hurt you.  
TC: If I cannot speak, I cannot harm anyone else in the way I have harmed you.  
AC: what  
AC: what do you mean?  
TC: I’m going to cut my own tongue out.  
AC: holy shit!!  
AC: no please don’t do that!!  
AC: you can’t be sober to have come up with that conclusion  
TC: Maybe I took some amphetamines!  
TC: I don’t fucking see how it’s any of your FUCKING business  
AC: because  
AC: you’re going to hurt yourself  
AC: you can tell i’m being serious, i’m not even making any stupid puns  
TC: Agh!  
TC: I’m doing this for you, Meulin!  
TC: FUCK.  
AC: i’m asking you not to  
TC: FINE.  
TC: I’ll find some other motherfucking solution.

terminallyConfidential [TC] is offline!

 

            The next time Meulin saw Kurloz, he smiled at her, but he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. His lips were sewn shut.

            Meulin couldn’t help but be thinking about that as she sat across from Kurloz. They’d been through some shit together; being deaf and being mute and him kicking his drug problems, except for occasionally they would smoke pot together, which was exactly what they were planning on doing that evening. Meulin’s phone went off, and she fished it out of her skirt pocket (Skirt!! With!! Pockets!!) to find that Horuss was messaging her.

 cavalierTechnophilia [CT] began pestering alleycatCupid [AC]

 CT: Meulin?  
AC: yeah horhiss??  
CT: Are you terribly busy right now?  
CT: I’m afraid I’ve found myself alone tonight, and  
CT: I am not quite in a positive headspace.  
AC: oh… well i’m with Kurloz  
CT: Ah, I see.  
CT: My apologies for the disturbance, then.  
AC: oh no!!  
AC: don’t be!!  
AC: what’s wrong?  
CT: Rufioh is busy tonight, watching all our siblings at their party.  
CT: I feel as though he does not want to be with me anymore.  
AC: that’s ridiculous

 

            Meulin looked up at Kurloz.  
            _Is it okay if Horuss joins us? He’s not feeling emotionally well.  
__**Of course.**_

AC: why don’t you come ofur here?  
AC: we can hang out all three of us!  
CT: Are you sure?  
AC: yeah!!  
CT: Okay, I will be there shortly, then.

cavalierTechnophilia [CT] has ceased pestering alleycatCupid [AC]

 

            Kurloz and Meulin decided to hold off on lighting up until Horuss arrived, his footsteps clomping down the stairs like a horse. Meulin stood up to hug him and then sat in Kurloz’s lap in his beanbag to give Horuss the other one. Horuss plopped down, looking defeated.  
            “Come on, Horuss, you’re with friends now!” Meulin cheered. “Where’s your smile?” Horuss smiled as wide as he could for a moment, then let it drop. Kurloz tapped her shoulder, then handed her a pipe. She nodded at him and walked over to the workbench, where she started grinding some weed down to pack it into a bowl. “So what’s going on?” she asked.  
            “I’m not sure. Rufioh just seems distant as of late. I’m not quite sure what I did,” Horuss answered.  
            “Rufioh’s purrobably just dealing with other stuff! Don’t sweat it, Horuss.” Horuss didn’t respond as Meulin picked up the lighter and took a hit off the pipe. She blew it in Horuss’ face a bit before pacing across and handing the pipe back to Kurloz. He placed the hole very carefully where he could open his mouth the slightest bit, and took a puff, blowing it back out through his nose instead. “I should have rolled a joint instead, huh Kur?” Kurloz nodded at her. Those were easier to fit between the stitches. “Sorry.” Kurloz handed Meulin the pipe again, and she tried to hand it back to Horuss. “Do you want to try?”  
            Horuss looked up at her, a bit unsuredly, then looked back at the pipe in her hand. “Well, I suppose one time couldn’t hurt…” he muttered, before trying to imitate what he’d seen Kurloz and Meulin just do. He coughed a bit before exhaling and Meulin giggled a bit before taking another hit herself.

            20 minutes later, Meulin was still sitting in Kurloz’s lap, stroking his cheek and running her thumb over the stitches around his mouth. “Do you ever wonder what we’d be like if that hadn’t happened?” she asked. Kurloz nodded a bit, before signing at her.  
            **_It doesn’t matter. I love you._**  
            “AWWWW!!” Meulin hugged him tight, then put down her middle and fourth fingers, replicating the sign for “I love you.” Horuss just looked at the two of them befuddledly.  
            “What did he say?” he asked.  
            “That he _looooves_ me.”  
            “Man,” Horuss muttered. “You two are so lucky that you can just say that and not worry about it. D’you… know what it’s like to be so utterly infatuated with someone and not be able to say anything about it? Because. I’m definitely in love with Rufioh. And I don’t think he loves me.”  
            “Whaaaat?”  
            “Yeah. And…”  
            “And what?”  
            “Meulin, you’re my best friend, can I ask you something personal?” Horuss looked embarrassed.  
            “Ummm…” Meulin glanced at Kurloz. “I guess!”  
            “When did you two start… being physical? Was it after you said ‘I love you’ for the first time?”  
            “Yeah! I think love is an important part of sex, at least for the furrst time,” Meulin answered.  
            “Oh, fiddlesticks… I suppose there are some things I should talk to Rufioh about,” Horuss muttered, reaching for his phone.  
            “Okay, but don’t worry about that right now; we’re gonna watch some movies.”  
            Horuss left halfway through the second movie, but Meulin spent the night at Kurloz’s place, on the well-worn mattress on the basement floor; the bed that had no real sense of organization, just sheets half-way on and a mess of pillows thrown about, in the comfort of Kurloz’s arms. They woke up together, in a mess of hair and limbs, but they were together, and they liked it that way. When Meulin finally got up and got her things together, she kissed Kurloz on the cheek and bounced up the stairs, humming all the way. When she got home, her little sister seemed upset.

            The two of them got ice cream that afternoon, and Meulin couldn’t help but be worried about Nepeta. She’d been so hung up on Karkat for so long. She couldn’t imagine the heartbreak Nepeta was dealing with. She wished she’d warned Nepeta; Karkat had made his lack of reciprocal feelings very clear. Nepeta wouldn’t have listened, but still, it wouldn’t have hurt to say _something._ It seemed like everyone around her was falling apart. Horuss was having a hard time with Rufioh, Damara had dropped out of school, and now Nepeta’s poor little heart. Meulin wished there was more she could do to make things better. Maybe the world didn’t work the way she’d always seen it. Maybe not everyone _did_ get a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im writing this one really fast???? we're halfway through already lmao maybe i can finish this series before the turn of the decade after all  
> lmao the weed-smoking scene fell on pg 420 of my doc 
> 
> as always if you have any requests for a bonus scene hmu here or on my tumblr, blake-babeadonna.tumblr.com  
> there's no real planned update for those, just whenever i get a request or have something i wanna write, but i did upload a new bonus the other day  
> anyway yeah enjoy :33
> 
> ((oh ps that line that 'meulin keeps her weed in her bra...' was totally taken from that burn book comic? idk if anyone knows what im talking about))


	8. Parenting: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta gets some advice about heartbreak

            Things were awkward around the Leijon-Vantas house for a while after that; throughout all of November and even into December. It didn’t help that about a week after Halloween, Cronus got busted cheating on Kankri, which put him in a sour mood. Nepeta and Karkat were awkwardly quiet around each other, and if Nepeta walked into a room that Karkat was already in, more often than not she would just leave. Nepeta wanted to talk to someone about it but she wasn’t sure who. Equius didn’t like talking about Karkat. Thankfully, that problem was solved somewhat on its own via Pesterchum.

 gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 GC: So what’s going on with you and Karkat?  
AC: ohh  
AC: nothing  
GC: Really? Because I was over a couple weeks ago and you were nowhere to be found :/  
AC: he called me out for having a crush on him  
AC: and yelled at me about it  
GC: Oh, man, Nep, I’m sorry.  
GC: If you ask me, he’s acting like a petulant toddler about it.  
AC: oh no, its not his fault  
AC: maybe i DID come on a little too strong  
GC: I mean  
GC: Yeah.  
GC: But still, he shouldn’t have yelled at you.  
AC: mm yeah, maybe…  
GC: Anyway, Karkat probably has other things to deal with.  
AC: hmm??  
GC: Oh, it’s nothing.  
GC: I have been sworn to secrecy.  
GC: In any case, you should just talk to him about it.  
GC: You know  
GC: Clear the air?  
AC: i guess  
AC: but i feel so weird about it now!!  
AC: everyone in the house feels so weird about it  
AC: its quiet and awkward all the time  
GC: All the more reason to fix it.  
AC: :((  
AC: you’re purrobably right  
AC: i will see if i can…  
AC: talk to you later

 arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

            Nepeta knew that Terezi was right, that she and Karkat needed to come to some kind of compromise; it was hard to keep avoiding each other when they shared a house. But, and she knew it wasn’t for any real reason, Nepeta just _didn’t_ want to be the one to initiate a conversation.  
            “Hey,” a voice said. Nepeta jumped a bit then looked down at the bedroom door. It was Solomon, thank goodness. She didn’t think she could handle a conversation with Karkat yet. She supposed Solomon was getting tired of everyone being in such a piss-poor mood over crushes.  
            “Hi, Solomon,” Nepeta said, well aware she was still pouting.  
            “You doing okay, kiddo?” he leaned against the doorframe.  
            “I dunno...” Nepeta fidgeted in her bed, trying to get comfortable, but look at Solomon at the same time. “I guess… I guess I knew Karkat didn’t like me? I just didn’t expect him to go off on me like that.”  
            “Yeah, he’s got kind of a short fuse.”  
            “And even though I _knew,_ and it’s been weeks now, it just feels like… someone ripped my heart out.” Tears prickled in Nepeta’s eyes again, but she didn’t want to cry.  
            “Nepeta, come down here. I want to tell you a story.” Nepeta hopped down the ladder to her loft bed and took a couple steps towards Solomon. He sat down and patted the floor next to himself, where Nepeta sat. “I have been… exactly where you are right now. Twice, in fact.”  
            “You have?”  
            “Of course. Heartbreak is a completely normal thing. Do you know what happened with me and your mother?” he asked. Nepeta shook her head no. “We met when we were… a little older than you. Yeah, I think it was when we were Sophomores. And we hit it off right away. I had never been in love before… god, she’s so great,” Solomon gave a blithe smile. “But, anyway, they say high school romance doesn’t last, and… they’re kind of right. After we graduated, I had to stay local; Nana Rosa couldn’t afford to send me off, so I stayed. And Dessie, she… she left. All the way to Washington State. We tried to make long distance work, but it didn’t. And we were both very distraught about it, but we decided that’s what was best. And it was devastating. I felt like I’d never love again.”  
            “So… what happened?”  
            “Well, eventually, I moved on. I had to. I met Karkat’s mother in college, married… admittedly, probably too young, and we thought we had everything under control. But she wasn’t happy, and she left after Karkat was born. Wanted to chase her dreams, travel the world… she regretted ever having met me, and she told me, and it stung. I was broken, _again_. And once again, I had to pick myself up and move on. It was happy coincidence that I got to meet Dessie again.”  
            Nepeta looked up at him. “Why’re you telling me this?”  
            “Because… heartbreak is a part of life. The world doesn’t stop moving just because you’re hurt, and dwelling on it isn’t helpful. So, take your time, but don’t let this stop you, okay?”  
            Nepeta looked back at the floor, pondering the story for a moment. “Okay,” she agreed, and Solomon smiled at her before standing up. Nepeta stood with him, and he held his arms open.  
            “Now come on, hug it out,” he said, and Nepeta wrapped her arms around him.  
            “Thanks, Dad—oh!” Solomon looked down at her in surprise.  
            “Did you just—?”  
            “I… uh…”  
            “It’s okay, Nepeta,” Solomon chuckled. “I’m glad to be a part of your family.” And without saying anything else, Solomon shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the hall whistling. Nepeta was glad to have him, too. She was glad her mom had him. He was so caring and kind and genuine. Nepeta climbed back up into her bed, flopping onto the pillows to think about things. She started doodling in her notebook a little bit. The quiet didn’t last very long, as a moment later, the creaking of the door hinges hit Nepeta’s ears.  
            “Hey… Nep?” Nepeta peered over her shoulder. _Now_ it was Karkat.            
            “Oh, hi, Karkat,” she murmured. She set her journal down and flipped around to face him. Karkat came into the room and leaned against Meulin’s bed, shuffling his foot a bit. “Ummm… did you wanna… talk about something?” she asked, not entirely sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. She was afraid it would only hurt more.  
            “Yeah, I wanted to… apologize, for blowing up at you a few weeks ago. It was seriously uncool. I had some other thigns on my mind, and… uh… I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I should have just come to talk to you about it,” he explained, his voice uncharacteristically soft. Nepeta took a breath.  
            “Oh… um… that’s okay, Karkat. I was thinking about it, and I think… if I’m really honest with myself, I kind of knew you weren’t interested. That’s why I never said anything; I didn’t… I don’t know,” Nepeta’s voice trailed. She picked up her fidget cube and started fiddling with it. Karkat seemed to know what she meant.  
            “You didn’t want to get hurt, but then I just threw it in your face like a gigantic asshole.”            “Ummmmmmm, yeah!” That pretty much summed it up. Wait. “I mean, not the asshole part. Well… maybe a little bit,” Nepeta pondered. It didn’t seem to comfort Karkat at all.  
            “Yeah… sorry. I just… you know, ever since our parents became a thing, I’ve looked at you like a sister. So, dating and that whole crush thing just felt really _really_ weird.” Oh my god. Nepeta perked up immensely at that comment.  
            “You think of me like a sister?”  
            “DUH. We practically are anyways.” She supposed he was right; their parents were engaged, after all.  
            “Awwwww! That’s so sweet!!” Nepeta smiled, glad to finally clear the air, and twice as glad that Karkat didn’t hate her forever. “Well, I’m really sorry for making you feel so pawkward for so long!”  
            “And there’s the cat pun. So I take it you’re not mad at me anymore.”  
            “I guess not…” Nepeta thought about it for a moment. “I was never really _mad_ , just hurt.”  
            “That’s fair,” Karkat muttered. There was something else on his mind; Nepeta could sense it, even if it was clear that Karkat didn’t want to talk about it. He took a breath and Nepeta leaned forward in anticipation; what was he about to say? He looked like he was mulling it over for a moment, and then he opened his mouth. “Hey, can I ask you something about your shipping nonsense?”  
            “Oh, sure. I didn’t take you for the shippy type.”  
            “It’s personal.” Ooh, secrets! “Um… what do you think of me and… Dave?” Nepeta gasped, her eyes widening.  
            “Oh my gosh, Karkitty, do you have a crush on him? I think you two could be so good for each other. You both have a lot of issues that I think you could help each other work through. I don’t know much about Dave personally but he carries himself a certain way… like he’s trying to convince people he’s a big tough guy, but I think he just needs some affection, and you, even though you yell a lot, it’s because you care. And Dave could probably help you chill out… um. Yeah! I think that could be a really good ship and also just _adorable_.” There was something about Dave and Karkat that made Nepeta think they would be good for each other, even if she didn’t know Dave that well. Karkat was hot-headed; Dave was chill. They balanced each other out.  
            “Oh my god,” Karkat nearly growled. “Alright. Thanks,” he said before skulking out. Nepeta smiled, glad things were back on the right track.

            The holiday party at Feferi’s house wasn't long after that. Nepeta and Karkat got there a little early; the only people there were Rose and Kanaya, Sollux, and Eridan, and of course, Feferi herself. Karkat flopped onto the couch next to Sollux, and Nepeta watched Kanaya and Rose at the kitchen table. Rose said something and Kanaya blushed. They were a good pairing, too, even if Kanaya was too shy to make a move. There _was_ something of an altercation between Tavros and Vriska; they were arguing about Christmas gifts, and Vriska was being a _huuuuge bitch_ , as per usual. Nepeta couldn’t bear to watch.  
            “Aradia! Oh my goodness, we haven’t hung out in so long!” Feferi buzzed around Aradia. Nepeta looked up. “What’s going on with you? How are things with Equius? You have to tell me everything!”  
            “Uh, yeah, we’ll catch up,” Arada murmured. Equius walked in behind her, and Nepeta beamed, rushing down the hall.  
            “Equiuuussss!” Nepeta bounded at him. She grabbed his hand and tugged him along.  
            “Er- Nepeta…! Ah, my apologies, I’ll be back shortly,” he explained to Aradia before Nepeta pulled him away.  
            “We have a _lot_ of talking to do, mister,” Nepeta chided, tugging Equius into one of the many empty rooms downstairs. “Soooo?? How did Aradia meeting your dad go?”  
            Equius hesitated. “I am… not entirely sure, to be honest. Aradia seems quiet. A bit morose, really. She asked me about my glasses.”  
            “Oh. Hmm. Yeah, I guess those do seem a little silly without explanation.” They were referring to the small square sunglasses Equius wore. They were joke glasses, with fake cracks in them. Nepeta wouldn’t pretend to understand why Equius wore them all the time, but she didn’t question it. It was something about sentimentality and his relationship with Horuss. And, yeah, Nepeta supposed Aradia didn’t really seem happy, but she didn’t know what to do about it. “Maybe she’s just going through stuff at home? I don’t know, Equius, just make sure she knows you’re there for her.”  
            Equius blushed a little bit. “Yes, of course,” he muttered. “How did things go with you? Have you and Mister Vantas made amends?”  
            “Yeah, he apologized for losing his temper with me. I think… things will be less awkward now?”  
            “That’s good.”

            Nepeta spent most of the night talking to Equius, and she felt a little bad for keeping him from Aradia. Eventually, Equius decided they should probably rejoin the rest of the party, and he sat between Aradia and Tavros, talking to Tav about prosthetics or something. Dave, John, and Terezi were chatting at the kitchen table, Sollux and Karkat were sitting at the other couch, and Feferi was sitting on the counter chatting with Eridan. Nepeta didn’t really cotton well to the idea of interrupting any of the ongoing conversations, so she wandered around a little bit. The next room over was a dance floor; it looked like Feferi had pushed the furniture out to make an open space, and that room was the source of the blaring music. There was even a small rainbow globe light, and some other strobes that were the only source of illumination for the entire room. Rose and Kanaya were sitting on a couple of the chairs that had been cast aside, watching Jade jam out all by herself. Well, that just wouldn’t do! Nepeta walked up quietly, looking at Rose, who gave her something of a sly smile, and Kanaya, whose smile was much softer.  
            “Hey Jade?” Nepeta asked. “Would it be alright if I joined you?”  
            Jade turned around, grinning. “Of course, Nep! Come on!” Nepeta giggled as Jade took her by the hand and they danced playfully together. Jade was super nice, and Nepeta was glad they were something of friends. The first song hadn’t even ended before Nepeta heard a voice; someone trying to get her attention.  
            “Hey Nepeta! I’m going home!” Karkat was being a grouch. Not that it was any different than usual.  
            “Okay, Karkitty, see you later!” She didn’t want to leave just because he was being pissy. She just kept dancing with Jade. It was the second voice that got Nepeta’s attention.  
            “Hey Harley, I’ll be back in a little bit. Don’t leave without me.” Nepeta turned to see who it was—Dave.  
            “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jade answered, the ever-present chipper note in her voice bordering on sarcasm. Nepeta couldn’t help but wonder if there was any correlation between Karkat leaving and Dave leaving moments later, but… she decided it wasn’t really her business. She was even more on this train of thought when Dave walked back in about an hour later, looking noticeably less stoic than usual. Rose made a face at Kanaya, then stood up and walked into the other room with Dave to comfort him about… well, something, Nepeta supposed. Jade must have noticed her wondering, because she put a hand on Nepeta’s shoulder.          
            “Don’t worry about him. There’s just some drama.” This did absolutely nothing to quell Nepeta’s curiousity. She wanted to know the drama. She wanted to know if Karkat was okay. That was, assuming the two things had any connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay pieces are falling into place; i think i have more of an idea of what i'm doing going forward  
> so, i'm definitely going to write at least to The Striders, which would be up to part 12, because i really want to write dave's POV of all this shit. At that point i may as well finish, but gotta see how i feel.
> 
> hmm i wanted terezi and nep to have some kind of interaction since they did seem like good friends in canon? idk  
> i also didn't really know how to end the chapter so it just kind of drops but thats also cause i had to write the end 3 TIMES MY COMPUTER KEPT CRASHING UGH


	9. Puma Thurman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta makes a new friend

     A week later was Christmas. Nepeta _loved_ Christmas. She supposed it was a little odd that they celebrated with her family’s traditions, considering her grandparents hadn’t made a trip to Skaia since… ever, at all, in the two years she’d lived there, and Solomon’s family wasn’t Christian, but he was. Oh well. Unconventionality was a theme with Nepeta and her friends. It was Nepeta’s mom that did a lot of the cooking, anyway, and it was her family’s recipes. But Nepeta’s mind wasn’t on food, at least, not at the moment. It was on presents! Yes, they were all tired from having been at Midnight Mass to listen to Solomon speak, and yes, it took a very loud radio to make Karkat get up, but still, it was _Christmas._ Nepeta bounded down the stairs after waking Meulin up, who followed her with slightly less excitement. They sat on the couch next to Kankri, who looked pretty tired. He was, for once, quiet, as he took a sip of heavily creamed coffee.  
     “You okay, Kankitty?” Meulin asked. He didn’t respond, just glaring at her. Meulin withered in his gaze, shirking away. He was cranky about something. Was it Cronus, still? It was probably Cronus, still. Or he just wasn’t really awake yet. And then, Karkat drudged downstairs.  
     “Good morning,” Dessie greeted him. He grunted in response before joining the rest of the family in the living room. There was a considerable stack of presents under the tree, which was given attention after everyone emptied their stockings. Meulin got a mug that said “I work hard so my cat can have a better life”, a new cat-ear headband, and some cute clothes, not to mention the present Kurloz gave her that she’d hidden away (it was a book on Satanism; it seemed like he was trying to indoctrinate her a little bit, and the two of them were kind of hush-hush about that stuff.) Nepeta’s gifts included a sketchbook, a deep pink hoodie with a heart insignia on it, and a pocket knife. Nepeta wasn’t sure why she’d been gifted a pocket knife. She looked up puzzedly at Solomon.  
     “Just in case you get into some trouble,” he mused. Nepeta frowned a little bit, but added it to her pile anyway.  
     “The insinuation that Nepeta needs a weapon to protect herself is offensive not only to her, as we are all well aware that she can more than fend for herself, but offensive to the male population as a whole. Not all men—”  
     “Okay, thanks! That’s enough, Kankri,” Solomon cut him off, thankfully rescuing the family from an hour-long lecture on misandry. He was probably just jealous that his gifts weren’t nearly as cool. A lot of books, a new whistle, and a pair of sneakers to replace the ones he’d worn through the bottom of. Karkat had at least gotten some cool movies—that was the last thing opened; the 20 Film Collection of romantic movies.    
     “Thanks, you guys, these are great,” Karkat said, sounding surprisingly genuine.  
     “Oh, there’s one more thing,” Dessie said, before scooting down the hallway into the garage. Huh. That was weird. A present that wasn’t under the tree? Why would she keep a surprise gift in the garage? Unless…  
     Nepeta’s suspicions were confirmed when her mother returned to the room holding a small ball of fluff.  
     “OH MY GOD!!! You got us another cat?!?!?” Her voice was bordering on ‘excited Meulin not wearing her hearing aids’ volume. Dessie set the kitten down on the floor, and the adorably tiny little thing wandered around a little bit, mewling at Karkat.  
     “Yeah, now Pounce won’t get so lonely when we leave.”  
     “Do you think Pounce is going to get along with another cat?” Kankri asked. For some reason, Kankri didn’t like cats. Or maybe it was just Pounce, which was fine. Pounce didn’t like Kankri, either. Pounce hadn’t forgiven him for stepping on his tail. Once was one thing, but Kankri hadn’t even apologized! He just scolded Pounce, like it was his fault! Solomon tutted at Kankri’s comment.  
     “Oh, he’ll be fine.”  
     “We should name it!” Meulin shouted. “Is it a boy or a girl?”  
     Dessie giggled a bit. “This one’s a girl.” Oh man, she was _soooo cute._ Nepeta loved her already. She was an orange creamsicle kitten. Little pink pawpads were dotted with grey a little bit. Nepeta started brainstorming names. Pun-based names, of course.  
     “Oh! Samantail! No, no. Tabbytha? Jennifurr??”  
     "Puma Thurman,” she heard Karkat say. The kitten mewled again in the quiet.  
     “Puma Thurman,” Solomon said again. “That is… adorable.”

      Once all the Christmas wrapping paper was cleared, Nepeta went to get Pounce from where he’d been hiding away in her room and introduce him to Puma. The two got along really well, actually, which was good. Pounce did have a tendency to be very possessive, but he let Puma play with him as Nepeta held one of those dangly toys with a feather on the end and teased them. She was half-tempted to get the laser pointer and set both of them running around the house, but her mother was starting to cook and the cats throwing themselves at the wall would only frustrate her. Karkat was on the couch, filming a video of Pounce and Puma. Nepeta smiled to herself. She could tell Karkat liked the kitten, even if he was pretending not to care.

 centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 CT: Merry Christmas, Nepeta.  
CT: I trust you are enjoying your morning.  
AC: oh hey!!  
AC: yes i am, it has been great so far  
AC: mom got us a new kitten :3  
CT: Ah, I see.  
CT: Have you come up with a name for it?  
AC: her name is…  
AC: …  
AC: PUMA THURMAN  
CT: A pun.  
AC: durrrr of course :P  
AC: i can’t take credit for it though  
AC: karkat came up with that one  
CT: I see.  
AC: are you alright, equius?  
AC: you seem even more…  
AC: hmm  
AC: you’re even less talkative than usual  
CT: Er, yes  
CT: Christmas can be a tense time around here.  
CT: And, moreso than that, I am concerned about my current relationship.  
CT: Aradia seems distant.  
AC: hmmmmmmmm  
CT: That is a very long ‘hmm’  
AC: yes, i am thinking  
AC: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  
AC: i really don’t know, equius!  
AC: make sure she knows you can be affectionate  
CT: What do you mean?  
AC: well you come off as really stoic and super serious all the time!!  
AC: try to be cute  
AC: like me :3  
AC: do you even have any cute nicknames for her?  
CT: Er…  
CT: No.  
AC: come onnnnn, that’s like boyfriend 101  
AC: also i need to come up with a ship name for you two  
AC: can’t believe i haven’t done that yet  
CT: Nepeta, please, focus.  
CT: Do you really think pet names will help?  
AC: iiiiiiiii thiiiiiiiiiink  
AC: it will show you’re trying  
CT: Okay.  
CT: Then I will try that.  
AC: good luck equius!  
AC: and merry christmas!

 centaursTesticle [CT] has ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

            The Maryams came over for dinner before too long, as everything seemed to start pretty early for Christmas. Nepeta introduced Kanaya and Porrim to Puma Thurman, and they both found her adorable, of course, and then the feast began. Nepeta’s mom was a great cook, so the food itself was great, and the conversation initially was great, but it took a bit of an awkward turn when Malati started asking about Karkat’s love life.  
            “So, Karkat, any girls in your life?” Karkat immediately looked quite embarrassed, even though he was trying not to show it. Nepeta was glad she hadn’t been singled out; she still felt a little odd about how things had happened with Karkat, but she also felt bad for Karkat. It was clear he didn’t want to explain to his aunt that he was crushing on a guy.  
            “No… no girls,” Karkat muttered. Nepeta caught the slight emphasis Karkat placed on ‘girls’ and glanced around the table. Kanaya, too, seemed a bit embarrassed, more by her mother’s insensitivity than anything. There was quiet for several minutes, just the uncomfortable sounds of silverware clattering against plates before small talk returned. Aarav was the one to break the silence, and it was with a small comment about Dessie’s cooking, and conversation returned to normal.  
            The table was cleared, dessert was served, and holiday cheer filled the room again, much to Nepeta’s relief. She never knew what to do with herself when it was so quiet and tense like that.  
            “Hey, we should play some cards,” Solomon suggested. Everyone seemed to perk up, except for Karkat.  
            “Excuse me,” he muttered before sliding out of his seat. Nepeta, on the other hand, was enjoying the card games, even if she wasn’t totally sure how poker worked. It was hard to keep track of all the different hands and what ranked higher than what. Eventually, they switched over to Uno, which was easier to keep track of, but got very contentious. Karkat still hadn’t returned, Nepeta noticed. She glanced over at Kanaya, their eyes meeting for a moment before Kanaya gave her a subtle nod, as if to say ‘I’ll go check on him’ before leaving the table. Nepeta tried not to worry. If her brother—wow, that was a weird thought, but she was trying to recontextualize her relationship with Karkat—was having an issue, surely Kanaya could help. After a few minutes, Kanaya returned, a small smile on her face, and Karkat wasn’t far behind her. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he tapped intently on his phone, and it looked maybe like he’d been crying. Nepeta resisted the urge to leap up and hug him. Clearly he was in the middle of an important conversation. With Dave? Maybe. Nepeta hoped so. Karkat bottled everything up. It wasn’t healthy. So if he was talking to Dave, maybe they were sorting out their feelings. And then, Karkat smiled. No, not smiled, _beamed_ at his phone, and Nepeta felt an overwhelming sense of relief on his behalf.

             The next day, Nepeta got a message from Jade on Pesterchum.                

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 GG: hey nepeta!!  
AC: hi jade!!  
GG: hey, you’re good with animals, right?  
AC: mm, cats mostly  
AC: why?  
GG: oh  
GG: cats :P  
AC: >:(  
GG: sorry! i am just more of a dog person  
AC: why do you ask?  
GG: oh! i was going to take bec to the pet store and was wondering if you wanted to come  
GG: usually rose comes with me to get stuff for jaspers  
GG: but she is spending time with her sister  
AC: well i think that could be fun  
AC: i can bring pounce! and puma!  
GG: ???  
AC: my cats, silly!!  
AC: pounce de leon and puma thurman  
GG: those names are incredible  
GG: anyway jake and i can pick you up in a little bit

 gardenGnostic [GG] has ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

            “Hey Mom, can I get some money?” Nepeta asked. Dessie looked at her from over the top of her book.  
            “Why?”  
            “Jade and I are going to the pet store; I want to get some toys for the kitties!” Dessie thought about it, then sighed a sigh that was proof enough Nepeta was going to get her way.  
            “Sure. $20, that’s it,” Dessie said, fishing a bill out of her wallet.  
            “Thanks Mom!!”

            Nepeta got both the cats, one in each hand, her house keys clipped to the belt loop on her shorts, and a 20 dollar bill in her back pocket, and she bounded out to the car just as Jade and Jake pulled up. Jade waved excitedly from the passenger’s seat of Jake’s army-green Jeep. It was one of those cars you’d see in some world-adventure movie; something Indiana Jones would drive. And in the back was a huge white huskie, barking at Nepeta as she walked up. The cats tensed in her hands. Pounce was mellow enough, but Puma had probably never seen a dog before, and her claws dug into Nepeta’s arm. Jake managed to get the dog—what did Jade say his name was? Bec?—to calm down long enough for Nepeta to get into the car.  
            “Hi Jade!” she said, setting the cats down on the seat.  
            “Hi Nepeta!” Jade answered, then looked down at the cats. “Don’t you have a carrier for them or something?”  
            “No, they’re fine. They won’t go anywhere.”  
            “I think Bec might scare them.”  
            “It’s fine, Jade,” the older boy behind the steering wheel said. That was Jake, right? Nepeta recognized him from Explorer's Club, but hadn't realized that he was the same Jake Jade always talked about. “No need to get minged off.” He had a kind of odd accent; Nepeta couldn’t quite place it. It was a bit different than Kanaya’s. “And I’ve gosh darn forgotton my basic pleasantries. What absolute buffoonery. I’m Jake English.”  
            “Hi, I’m Nepeta. Leijon,” she said, extending her hand to shake his. He was very… enthusiastic.  
            “He’s my cousin. Grew up in England. In… uh… where was it, Jake?”  
            “Lancashire. Northern England,” he explained.  
            “Oh, cool. My friend Kanaya spent some time in England,” Nepeta said.  
            The three of them kept chatting all the way to the pet store, and after parking the car, Jade went around to the trunk to let Bec out and put him on his leash, and Jake and Nepeta hopped out. Jake grabbed a shopping cart and Nepeta put the cats in the little fold out seat. She was lucky they were very well behaved. They just kind of watched her as she walked around the store with Jake and Jade, Bec walking calmly next to the cart. He did actually look pretty sweet, even if Nepeta wasn’t a dog person. His eyes were friendly and his tongue was lolling out the side of his mouth.  
            The first thing Nepeta did was make sure to get a collar and tags for Puma, putting Puma’s name on one side and her mother’s on the other, along with her phone number and the house address. Then, she went into the cat toy aisle while Jade and Jake were looking for a treat for Bec. She pondered over those toys she could put catnip into, holding each one up to the cats and watching their expression before making a decision. After a few tries, Nepeta just tossed a little stuffed mouse in the cart, and decided to try to find some kind of scratching post. As she turned the corner into the next aisle, two grey balls of fluff darted past her cart, the sound of their paws on the lineoleum floor accompanied by a boy crying, “Smokey, Bandit, come back here!” and the squeak of sneakers skidding along. A copper-haired boy tumbled around the corner and crashed into Nepeta’s cart, falling on the floor.  
            “Oh!” she exclaimed, helping him up.  
            “Sorry,” he said, standing up and brushing himself off. He was a little taller than her, lanky, but not totally lacking muscle like Sollux, and had bright hazel eyes that just looked so inviting. Nepeta’s heart thudded.  
            “Were those… your cats?”  
            “Yeah, they… can you help me get them?” he asked.  
            “Sure, they probably didn’t get very far,” Nepeta answered, and then she turned to her own cats. “I’ll be right back. You two behave!” The boy snickered a little bit, and Nepeta flared up with indignance. Was he laughing at her?  
            “Sorry, that was just… they’re cute,” he said. “What’re their names?” They started walking down the aisle his cats just disappeared down.  
            “Pounce de Leon and Puma Thurman.”  
            “Oh, like Ponce de Leon, and Uma Thurman? That’s hysterical.”   
            “You like puns?”  
            “Yeah!”  
            “My brother named Puma.” There was that ‘brother’ idea again. “What were yours named?”  
            “Smokey, and Bandit,” he answered. Nepeta supposed those were cute names. They turned another corner and found Jade, very disgruntled, with both grey fluffs clinging to her legs as they tried to hide from Bec, and Jake, trying to calm Bec down.  
            “Becquerel, if you don’t stop barking--!”  
            “Oh man, thanks,” the boy said to Jade. “Those are mine.” He gestured to the cats. Jade pried them off her legs one at a time and the boy took them. Nepeta laughed a little bit, then walked back to where she’d left the cart. True to form, her kitties were sitting in the seat waiting for her. “Hey, what’s your name?” he asked Nepeta.  
            “Me? Oh, I’m, uh… Nepeta Leijon.”  
            “Nepeta. Nice to meet you. I’m Oliver. Do you go to Skaia High?”  
            “Yeah.”  
            “Cool, maybe I’ll see you around!” Nepeta nodded as Oliver made his way to the cash register. He was cute, he liked puns, he liked cats, and Nepeta couldn’t ignore the little beats of her heart… this could be the start of something wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had kind of a hard time writing this chapter for some reason?  
> and also i dont usually do OC shipping but like  
> its nepeta she deserves love
> 
> (also i already referred to this dude in the last story so its already canon for the fic theres no going back)
> 
> i tried looking up english accents bcuz i do headcanon kanaya as having an english accent (blame Voxus for that one; kate is forever kanaya in my head) but its also definitely different than how i hear jake? idk the northern english sounded good to me for jake and received pronunciation (like what you hear on tv) is how i imagine kanaya talking  
> i dont know how that's going to work if her family is from india but have been in america since her mom was a kid but that's a problem for future me
> 
> ((strategy for writing jake english dialogue: mix gavinisms, actual jake quotes, and 1920's slang))


	10. Relationshipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships are building up and falling apart, while all Nepeta can do is watch.

            A few days later, Cronus came by the house. Nepeta had been the one to answer the door. Cronus was tall and a little foreboding, a cigarette dangling from his lips and a guitar in a soft case strapped to his back. He grinned at her, a grin that felt a little uncomfortable.  
            “Hey, Nep. Damn you’re looking good today,” he said.  
            “Um? That’s kind of a weird thing to say,” Nepeta blurted. It was always odd talking to Cronus. He scowled at her.  
            “Yeah, whatever. Is Kan home?”  
            “Uh…” Nepeta started to answer, before realizing that she didn’t actually know. “Hang on.” She let the door shut in Cronus’ face as she darted upstairs. Kankri was indeed home, the open door of his bedroom being the giveaway. He always kept the door open when he was home, in the off chance one of the siblings came to him for advice. He was on his laptop when Nepeta knocked lightly on the door. Kankri looked up at her.  
            “Yes, Nepeta?”  
            “Um, Cronus is at the door for you?”  
            “Oh.” Kankri let out a very long sigh. “Can you tell him I don’t want to talk to him?” Nepeta frowned.  
            “No. Go downstairs and talk to him yourself.”  
            “Nepeta, he _cheated_ on me. I have nothing to say to him.”  
            “Well I’m not going to let you put me in the middle; I’m not your messenger. Plus talking to Cronus is always weird?” Kankri let out another long sigh and stood up from his desk.  
            “Fine.” Nepeta’s eyes followed Kankri as he traipsed down the stairs. Nepeta walked into her own room and climbed up to her bed. Meulin was watching something—was that _Aristocats_?—on her laptop, but she paused it and looked up at Nepeta.  
            “What’s up, Nep?”  
            “Cronus is here.”  
            Meulin frowned. “Oh man, that guy?” The older girl huffed. “He’s so weird and always hitting on everyone.”  
            “I know, he made a comment to me just now!”  
            “Ewwww!” Meulin squealed. “You know, for a guy who’s spent the last two years talking about nothing about sex, I don’t think he’s actually done it very much.” Nepeta crinkled her brow.  
            “I don’t really wanna talk about that, Mews.” The two girls stopped talking, hearing two pairs of footsteps coming up the stairs, and the voices that came with them.  
            “–even know why you think I want to see you right now.”  
            “Kan, please, just let me explain.”  
            “You think you can explain why you slept with Damara?”  
            “It didn’t mean anything! I was mad at you and I was horny, and I…” The door to Kankri’s bedroom slammed shut, muffling the rest of the conversation. Nepeta could hear Kankri shouting and Cronus sound like he was pleading, but she couldn’t make out the words anymore. After a while, Kankri’s voice calmed, and the door opened again. Nepeta looked at Meulin, and they both just sort of shrugged at each other. It seemed like the two had discussed whatever they needed to discuss, because Cronus took his guitar out and started playing “Good Riddance”. Karkat came home before too long and gave the boys some shit, too, especially since Cronus was playing nothing but the most clichéd acoustic guitar songs ever.

            Feferi’s New Year’s party was that weekend. Nepeta couldn’t say much of interest happened, at least, not to her personally. Aradia didn’t show up to the party, for some reason, but at least Nepeta didn’t have to feel bad about hoarding Equius’ attention. But really, the most exciting thing that happened (beyond seeing which pairings were becoming reality) was Tavros getting totally hammered and yelling at Vriska. Actually, it was kind of awkward to watch. It started with the countdown. Vriska plopped herself into Tavros’ lap. It was Tavros’ laugh that actually caught Nepeta’s attention, how genuine it sounded. It was a rare sound. Nepeta didn’t hear him laugh very much, which she supposed might have to do with how he saw himself and the fact that Tav was a bit of a pushover. He smiled a lot and didn’t seem generally unhappy, but she also knew he was very frustrated by Vriska. And this laugh was after the revelation that Gamzee had spiked the punch and therefore Tavros was _very drunk._  
            “Waht’re you doin’? he slurred at Vriska.  
            “I was gonna kiss you at midnight, you drunk fool,” Vriska answered.  
            “Ahah!” Tavros said. He shifted a bit, then Vriska stood up, glancing around the room that she now had full attention of. “I, uh, no,” Tavros said. “Nnnno. You don’ wanna kis meee, you! Jus’ wanna make… john… jealous.” He gestured wildly with his arms, pointing at himself, then Vriska, then John. “An anyway! I don’ think I wannaaa kiss you, anymore. You’re uhhhh, a mean. Person. You are mean to me. I don’ like it. And if I haaaad to geuss, I don’ think that, uh, mister John likes it very much, either. I know… most of us? Don’t like it either. And uh, that’s just. Sad. Vriskers. That most of us don’t really like you? You’re… too mean, eheheh.” Wow. So. That was really uncomfortable. Vriska looked wildly embarrassed, and then she just left. Nepeta couldn’t say she blamed her; she probably would have left too if she’d been berated by someone she arguably had a crush on in front of all their friends. Feferi tried to make the best of the rest of the party, gathering everyone’s attention and directing it towards the countdown. Nepeta smiled at Equius, who forced himself to smile back. It was clear everyone was kind of uncomfortable with what had just happened, but what was there really to do about it?

            And then, a couple days later, Nepeta got a message from Equius.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

CT: Nepeta  
CT: I have some unfortunate news  
AC: oh??  
AC: what is it equius?  
CT: Aradia…  
CT: Broke up with me  
AC: oh no!!  
AC: are you okay?  
CT: I don’t know.  
CT: I’ve never felt like this before.  
CT: It is like…  
CT: My heart is crying.  
CT: I don’t really know how to explain it.  
AC: aww  
AC: do you want me to come over?  
CT: Could you?  
AC: of course!  
AC: you know im always here for emotional support  
AC: what kind of friend would i be if i didnt come console you right now??  
AC: not a very good one in my opinion  
AC: so i will be right over!

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

            Nepeta shoved her phone into her pocket, told Solomon she was heading out, and hopped onto the bus. Equius’ house wasn’t far, but it would be a long walk. When she got to Equius’ house, she knocked on the door, and it swung open, Aurthour on the other side. She waved at him, and he gave a small smile at her.  
            “Good afternoon, Miss Leijon.”  
            “Hi Aurthour! Where’s Equius?”  
            “In the garage,” Aurthour explained.  
            “Okay, thanks!” Nepeta said before skipping off. Equius was indeed in the garage, welder’s mask down while he worked intently on… something. Nepeta knew better than to walk in or surprise him while he was working, especially with fire, so she waited a moment. Equius tilted towards her, then held up a finger as if to say ‘just a minute’. He finished what he was doing, lifted his mask, and set all the tools down. Only then did Nepeta enter the garage. Fire safety was everyone’s business.  
            “Hello, Nepeta,” Equius said. Nepeta hugged him tight.  
            “Hi, Equius.” She sat down on the bench and promted Equius to do the same. “So… what happened?”  
            “It was odd. She asked me to go to the archery range with her, to which I said yes, of course, and we did have an interesting conversation in the car.”  
            “Oh? About what?”  
            “She asked about my mother.”  
            “Oh.” It was a sensitive subject. Equius never brought it up, but his mother had been comatose for a very long time.  
            “I even took your advice, and called her ‘darling’. Everything seemed fine, until we arrived at the range. I broke a bow, and she insisted that we share one. Being in such close proximity made me nervous… I… blast, where is my towel?” Nepeta stifled a laugh as Equius scrambled for a towel to dry himself. Big stinky sweatybutt. “And then, she just started yelling at me, yelling and crying and telling me I didn’t actually care about her. And upon insisting that I do care, she began slapping me! But then she kissed me. It was… it was anger. I don’t know. She made it clear she doesn’t want to see me anymore, but I…”  
            “Wow, that sounds really weird. I’ve never thought of Aradia as the angry type. Maybe she’s confused too!” Equius’ eyes glanced around the room; he looked a little embarrassed.  
            “She has good reason to be angry.”  
            “Hmm?”  
            “I have not been completely honest about how things came to be between me and her. You see, I was well aware of Vriska planning that game on Halloween. In fact, it was because of me that it was arranged at all.”  
            Nepeta squinted at Equius, her brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”  
            “I was… embarrassed to even be developing these feelings for Aradia. Her family… they are just so… low. I couldn’t bring myself to ask her on a date in a traditional manner, I am not sure why I had such nerves around her. And Vriska was aware of my feelings, and she offered to help. The game was rigged from the very beginning. And once Aradia and I were alone, I was able to ask her out. Perhaps it was the seclusion; perhaps it was the darkness, but I kissed her while we were in the closet, and I asked her on a date, as you know. I suppose she found out about my tactless manipulation, and this is why she grew so angry with me.”  
           Nepeta scowled at Equius and smacked him a couple times in the shoulder. “You big stupid dummy!! How could you do that?”  
           “Ah, I know! It was incredibly foolish of me.”  
           “Foolish? Equius, you lied to her!”  
           “I know, I know. Words cannot summate my guilt in regards to the entire debacle. I just… didn’t know what else to do. I panicked, and I didn’t know how to come clean about it.”  
           “Hmm…” Nepeta pondered the situation for a moment. She couldn’t _really_ be mad at Equius; everyone made mistakes. He seemed to know he was in the wrong, so continuing to make him feel bad about it wasn’t really fair. “It’ll be okay, Equius. Sure, it doesn’t feel good right now, but you’ll be fine in the end.”  
           “What made you feel better?” he asked, of course referring to Karkat’s outburst at her.  
           “Meulin took me to get some ice cream.”  
           “Ice cream does not seem like it will fix things.”  
           “It won’t. It’s just nice in the moment. Only time will fix things.” Nepeta patted Equius’ arm gently. He may not have been showing it outwardly, but she could tell Equius was hurting. He wasn’t the type to cry. Instead, he just grunted at her.  
           “Do you think I could get Aradia back? Maybe… maybe she could give me a second chance.”  
           As much as it pained her to do so, Nepeta shook her head no. “You weren’t honest with her. And I’m pretty sure she has a crush on Sollux…” Equius grunted again, and Nepeta sighed. “Do you want to go get some ice cream, Equius?”  
           “Yes, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bluh this chap is so short  
> i just don't know what to have nepeta be doing during some parts *sigh*  
> like... she seems pretty passive and didn't have a lot of development in canon. idk. hopefully ch 11 will have more stuff going on


	11. Heathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta gets to bond with her new crush

            Things were… really weird by the time school started again. Pretty much the first day back, there was a fight that caused a lot of crowding in the halls before lunch. Nepeta didn’t see what actually happened, but word spread fast and it sounded like Aradia lost her shit and beat the crap out of Vriska, and then got suspended. Nepeta wasn’t one to condone violence (okay, she wasn’t one to condone _unprovoked_ violence) but she thought it should be noted that Vriska wasn’t the nicest person anyway? Aradia’s absence at the table didn’t go unnoticed, either. Equius had a good amount of guilt about it. Nepeta thought that he thought it was his fault Aradia was suddenly acting weird, but Nepeta herself thought that he was being too hard on himself. Everyone seemed like they were falling apart. Tavros was still dealing with the repercussions of getting so drunk on New Year’s and being so upfront with Vriska about his feelings. Sollux was more depressed than usual. Kanaya and Terezi and Vriska all seemed so far away with their own problems. Gamzee was acting odd, too, and not in the “he’s constantly high” sense, and Eridan and Feferi seemed to have had some kind of fight. It _suuuuucked_ that everyone was so down in the dumps. Karkat seemed like he was going to blow a fuse keeping himself together, let alone dealing with everyone else. Jade and Feferi were trying to be optimistic, but it wasn’t enough for the whole group, and eventually the pessimism and negativity started getting to Nepeta, too. She was definitely feeling more comfortable with the way her life was going, at least in regards to her prior feelings for Karkat. It was easier to think of him as a brother the more time passed, and it didn’t hurt that she’d found someone else she was mildly attracted to. The unfortunate thing was that she hadn’t seen him around school. There weren’t that many combinations of classes freshmen could take, so she found it odd that they didn’t share any. A few weeks after school had started up again, Nepeta heard a voice on her way to class after lunch.  
            “Hey! Uh, Nepeta!” She turned to see that familiar crop of copper hair bobbing through the crowd, moving towards her.  
            “Oh, hey Oliver!” she greeted him as he approached.  
            “Hey, hey, sorry I haven’t been around. Been busy with rehearsals and stuff.”  
            “Rehearsals?”  
            “Oh, yeah, I’m in the school play. Been going over music during lunch.”  
            “Oh, cool,” Nepeta muttered. “I didn’t know there was a musical happening.”  
            “Yeah, um, it’s pretty fun. We’re doing _Bye Bye Birdie_ this year. I wanted to do _Heathers_ but the drama teacher said it wasn’t appropriate for high school,” Oliver griped. Nepeta picked up on the phrase ‘this year’.  
            “Hey, are you a freshman?” she asked.  
            “Oh! No, I’m a sophomore.” So _that_ was why she hadn’t seen him in any classes.  
            “Oh, okay. Sorry, I was just wondering. Anyway, uh… what’s _Heathers_?” Nepeta had virtually no knowledge of musical theater. _Bye Bye Birdie_ sounded vaguely familiar, but she’d never heard of the second one.  
            “W- pff, wh- what’s _Heathers_?” Oliver sputtered. “ _Heathers_ is fantastic.” And he went on to give Nepeta a full-blown synopsis. “It’s this newer musical about three mean girls named Heather and their kinda-sorta friend Veronica, and Veronica falling in love with this boy JD who turned out to be kind of a murderer. They kill one of the Heathers, maybe by accident? JD eggs Veronica on and then they poison her, but Veronica freaks out and they fake a suicide note. And then later Veronica gets embarrassed by the other two Heathers and these two jocks, Ram and Kurt, and JD gets so pissed that they’re all laughing at her that they make a plan to fake Ram and Kurt’s suicide and make it look like they’re gay. But JD lies about using fake bullets and actually just straight-up kills Ram and Kurt and Veronica flips her shit AGAIN. She basically tells him ‘stop killing people because I love you but this is wrong’ so JD says okay. Then there’s this whole sequence where the teacher is trying to have a talk about how suicide isn’t the answer but it’s all for publicity and when Heather McNamara talks about how she wants to kill herself, Heather Duke turns into a megabitch and encourages it, and nobody says anything, except Veronica goes after her. JD tells Veronica that he wants to kill everyone because the whole school sucks, Veronica breaks up with him, and then he tries to blow up the school. Oh, and then there’s the thing with Martha! Anyway, I don’t want to give away the ending but there’s a bootleg on Youtube and you should definitely watch it. Or at least check out the soundtrack.” Nepeta just watched as Oliver, very emphatically explained the show. It was endearing seeing how passionate people could get.  
            “Wow, that sounds… like a lot,” Nepeta said. “But really good!”  
            “It is! I even used ‘Freeze Your Brain’ as my audition song this year.”  
            “‘Freeze Your Brain’?” Oliver chuckled at her.  
            “It’s one of JD’s songs.”  
            “Oh,” Nepeta muttered again. An odd sort of silence settled between the two of them, and then Oliver kind of awkwardly cleared his throat.  
            “Hey, this is my class. But, uh, could I get your Pesterchum handle? Maybe we can stream the bootleg together later.”  
            Nepeta’s eyes widened and she was pretty sure she was blushing, a light dust of pink appearing on her cheeks. She scrambled for a scrap piece of paper and scrawled out ‘arsenicCatnip’ on it, pushing it into Oliver’s hands before darting off to her own class. She was thankful Equius hadn’t been with her—he was off studying somewhere, but they rejoined in gym class.  
            “Equius!!! Guess what!!!” she said, bounding over to him after having changed into her P.E. clothes. He turned to face her.  
            “Oh, what is it?”  
            “A boy… has a crush on me!”  
            “Well that certainly is… news.”  
            “Yes! Exciting news! He wants to watch a movie with me later. I gave him my Pesterchum handle.” Equius didn’t respond, just looked down at Nepeta. She couldn’t tell if his glare was more stern, or sullen. Maybe he was just bummed out over Aradia still. Nepeta looked forward at where Aradia used to stand a couple rows in front of her; she’d been number 6, alphabetized by last name. Nepeta was number 17. Number 6 was now empty.

            It didn’t take long for Nepeta to get a notification on Pesterchum. It happened pretty much as soon as she got home.

 -- amibitiousThespian [AT] has requested to be chums with arsenicCatnip [AC] -–

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] has accepted chum request from ambitiousThespian [AT] -–

AT: Hey nepeta!  
AC: oh hey oliver!!  
AC: that was quick :P  
AT: Yeah im in rehearsal right now but theyre working on scenes im not in  
AT: So i thought id say hi  
AC: so you spend a lot of time after school in rehearsal?  
AT: Yeah but the show is in a couple months so my schedule will stop being so crazy after that  
AT: I love theater but its so time consuming @_@  
AC: yeah i bet  
AC: gotta learn all those songs and dances and stuff  
AT: Yeah i mean im a pretty good singer but the dances are hard  
AT: Thankfully i dont have to do a whole lot of them unless im in ensemble  
AC: hmm??  
AT: Oh  
AT: Ensemble is like…  
AT: Extras?  
AT: They dont usually play any character in particular but theyre in scenes where it needs to look like a crowd  
AT: Or like kids whose speciality is dance  
AC: oh… hm  
AC: sounds interesting  
AC: okay so what is this play youre in  
AC: bye bye birdie?  
AT: Yeah  
AT: Its about this songwriter named albert, he writes for a kinda elvis-like guy named conrad birdie  
AT: Conrad gets drafted into the army and they have to come up with some kind of publicity stunt because albert needs the money  
AT: So alberts assistant rose comes up with the idea to have conrad perform a song live with a girl from the conrad fanclub  
AT: She also makes albert promise to be an english teacher because theyre sweethearts and shes tired of not having money come in consistently  
AT: This girl kim macafee gets chosen for the contest thingy but quits the fan club because she just got a boyfriend  
AT: Then albert, conrad, and rosie go to her town in ohio and from there its basically drama  
AT: Kims parents dont like conrad  
AT: Her boyfriend hugo is self conscious and thinks she likes conrad more  
AT: Alberts mom shows up to break up him and rosie because shes hispanic  
AT: Rosie gets pissed by that obviously  
AT: The broadcast conrad is supposed to perform on falls apart  
AT: Its crazy  
AT: But really fun  
AC: it sounds crazy but fun!!  
AC: who do you play?  
AT: Hugo Peabody :]  
AC: so… kims boyfriend, right?  
AT: Yeah!  
AC: cool!  
AT: Its a fun part  
AT: No solos though  
AC: awwwww  
AC: whats your favorite song?  
AT: Telephone hour  
AT: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2Di1_Zbtpk>  
AC: heehee, why does that kids voice crack so much?  
AT: Hes supposed to be a really nervous nerdy kinda guy  
AC: thats cute :3  
AT: Hey do you still wanna watch heathers later?  
AC: yeah!  
AC: i havent used pesterchum’s video sharing thing, how does it work?  
AT: Oh its super easy  
AT: Ill set it up when i get home  
AC: okay cool!  
AT: So ill talk to you later?  
AC: sure! :3  
AT: Haha alright  
AT: Bye nep

ambitiousThespian [AT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

            Nepeta set her tablet down and rolled over on her bed, barely managing to hide her giddy smile when Meulin walked in. Meulin raised an eyebrow. She made a questioning face at Nepeta, moving her hands forward, then pointed at Nepeta, then placed both her index fingers near her mouth and drew them upwards, smiling, and finally, touched her forehead and swung the tip of her finger forward.  
            _What’re you smiling like that for?_  
            Nepeta grinned, then gestured for Meulin to put her aids in. It would be easier just to talk about it. Meulin complied, putting her hearing aids in and then looking back up at Nepeta.  
            “Okay, what are you so happy about over there?” she asked again.  
            “I was just… talkin’ to a boy.”  
            “A boy!!!!” Meulin screamed. “What’s his name? Where’d you meet? How old is he? What’s he look like? What’s he interested in?” Meulin bubbled with excitement and Nepeta’s eyes widened at all the questions, but she answered, one by one.  
            “His name’s Oliver, I gave him my Pesterchum handle earlier today and he was just messaging me. His handle is ambitiousThespian… we met at the pet store a while ago when I went with Jade and Jake, and we bonded over puns and cats. He’s a year older than me… a little bit taller than Karkat, and he’s got these really warm kind of cinnamon eyes and a rusty red sort of hair color, and he’s really into theater. We’re gonna watch a musical later.”  
            “What, like go to a theater and everything?! That’s an expensive first date!”  
            Nepeta giggled at her sister. “No, he wants to stream a bootleg of _Heathers_ from YouTube.”  
            “Oh. Well that’s kind of cute,” Meulin conceded. Nepeta grinned at her.

            Once again, Nepeta didn’t have to wait too long before hearing from Oliver. His rehearsal couldn’t have been that long. Maybe a few hours. It was only around 6:30 when she heard from him again, scarfing down dinner to excuse herself as fast as possible before answering.

ambitiousThespian [AT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

AT: Hey nepeta!  
AT: Im back :]  
AC: hii!  
AC: sorry, i had to finish dinner real quick  
AT: Thats fine!  
AT: Im still getting this set up  
AT: So while i work on that  
AT: Hmm  
AT: Tell me about your family  
AC: oh uhm  
AC: okay!  
AC: well theres me  
AC: im technically the youngest but only by about a month  
AC: and my sister meulin  
AC: shes 17 but her birthday is in august too  
AC: around the same time as mine  
AC: we get along pretty well  
AC: but learning sign language has been weird  
AC: she went deaf a couple years ago right after we moved here  
AC: and my mom!  
AC: my mom’s great  
AT: Is it just the three of you?  
AT: I thought you said you have a brother  
AC: oh!!  
AC: well he’s only kind of my brother  
AC: see we moved here because my mom found her high school sweetheart again!  
AC: they broke up when she went away to college  
AC: and i don’t really know what happened to my dad  
AC: but she was happy to rekindle things with solomon  
AC: so he’s kind of sort of my dad?  
AC: and he has two kids of his own  
AC: karkat and kankri  
AC: karkat is kind of a crab but deep down there is a soft lovable center  
AC: kankri is…  
AC: hard to describe  
AT: Wow thats pretty cool  
AT: Its like the brady bunch  
AT: But with two less kids  
AC: it can be hard having so many “””siblings”””  
AC: but its fun for the most part  
AT: Thats good!  
AT: Okay i think i got it

\-- ambitiousThespian [AT] has requested to video chat with arsenicCatnip [AC] -–

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] has accepted video chat request from ambitiousThespian [AT] -–

\-- ambitiousThespian [AT] has shared screen with arsenicCatnip [AC] -–

            A window with Oliver’s face popped up. He smiled at Nepeta, and she smiled back, and then the larger portion of the screen changed, shifting Oliver’s window into the lower right corner. The screen was dark, and didn’t look like anything was playing.  
            “Is it working?” she asked.  
            “Yeah, I just have it paused. Are you ready?”  
            “Mhm!” she smiled again, and Oliver pressed play on his computer.

            They didn’t stop when _Heathers_ ended. Oliver showed her a couple songs from his favorite musicals, they looked up funny cat videos, Nepeta suggested he listen to _The Adventure Zone_ and told him about a couple fan-made animations that they then watched, and eventually, Oliver just pulled up _Aladdin_ on some streaming site. Nepeta felt her eyes drift closed before the movie ended.  
            Nepeta woke up with her tablet still on her bed, barely any battery left. It lasted long enough for her to read a few messages that had been left for her on Pesterchum.

AT: Hey  
AT: You definitely passed out during aladdin  
AT: Which is kind of adorable not going to lie  
AT: Anyway i wanted to say goodnight but youre not gonna see this until you wake up  
AT: Well  
AT: I hope you have sweet dreams nepeta

ambitiousThespian [AT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bluh filler chapter
> 
> i wanted nep to get to hang out with oliver a bit idk
> 
> if you havent watched heathers please do!! or at least listen to the soundtrack  
> (lol all the references i dropped in this chapter holy shit you guys are learning what a nerd i am first heathers then TAZ which btw is a D&D podcast nepeta would totally listen to)


	12. What is Love??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta explores her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY DON'T HURT ME  
> DON'T HURT ME  
> NO MORE
> 
> ((ok sorry enjoy the chapter))

            There was a very uncomfortable dinner on a March evening. Kankri had invited Cronus over to meet the family. Meulin was unhappy about it, mostly because of the history Cronus had with hitting on everyone in their friend group. One time, before Cronus and Kankri were dating, he “accidentally” grabbed Meulin’s boob, right in front of Kurloz. Meulin and Kurloz were _not_ fans of Cronus after that. Or… before that, really. Nepeta thought it was really awkward, too. He made comments to her that could be passed off as innocent compliments, but they still felt skeezy somehow and he generally made her uncomfortable. The entire atmosphere was really uncomfortable. Karkat was sitting across the table just _glaring_ at Cronus. Solomon and Dessie were the only ones really trying to break the tension; Kankri just seemed embarrassed.  
           “So, remind me, how long have you two been dating?” Solomon asked.  
           "Uh… well,” Cronus mumbled. “How long’s it been… 9 months?”  
           “Are you counting from the beginning or since Kankri took your groveling ass back?” Karkat grumbled. Nepeta heard a thunk and based on the looks on their faces, she’d bet that Kankri just kicked Karkat underneath the table.  
           “Karkat, please, don’t be rude,” Kankri said, turning the slightest bit pink. Nepeta and Meulin glanced at each other, and started exchanging quips in ASL.  
_Kankri’s so flustered!_ Nepeta signed. _It’s a little adorable._  
_**I don’t know if it’s a cute thing between them or like… a sex thing.**          _  
_What? Do you think that’s why Kankri took him back?_  
_**Purrobably! Hey, do you think Kankitty spits or swallows?**  _ Nepeta furrowed her brow at the question, not entirely sure what Meulin meant, but before she could inquire further, she caught sight of her mother’s glare.  
           “Girls! Be polite.”  
           “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry,” Kankri apologized to Cronus before burying his head in his hands. Cronus’ smile somehow never faded.  
           “It’s fine, babe,” he said. Nepeta swore she saw Kankri turn even more red.  
           “Father, may we please be excused?” he asked. It was very clear he wanted to get out of that situation.  
           “Hold on a minute. Cronus, I apologize. We’re not usually like this. But you must understand, Kankri was very distraught after what happened. Now, I trust his decision to give you a second chance, but everyone is a bit wary,” Solomon said, sounding very genuine.  
           “Nah, I get it,” Cronus answered. “You’re just looking out for him. We’re on the same page, really. We both just want Kan to be happy. I fucked up; I acknowledge that, and I know how luck I am to even be with him right now. It’ll never happen again. Things are different now. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.” Cronus also sounded very genuine. Maybe he really meant it. It was weird to think about Cronus not being a gigantic asshole, though. Even Eridan seemed to dislike him, and they were brothers. But, of course, Eridan wasn’t the most likeable, either. Solomon raised an eyebrow at Cronus.  
           “Might I ask what’s different this time?” he asked. Cronus looked nervous for a moment.  
           “Well, Kan and I had a long talk about it, and we both made some concessions. I promised to take things more seriously, make an effort to be more present in his life, ya know? And he—”  
           “Shut. Up. Cronus,” Kankri hissed at him, tension thick in his voice. Cronus sighed a bit, and Nepeta couldn’t help but feel like there was something odd about that exchange in particular. Solomon cleared his throat.  
           “Well, if you two have an understanding, and are happy, that’s fine by me. You’re always welcome here, Cronus.”  
           “Thanks, man. Er—I mean, Mr. Vantas.”  
           “Thank you, father. Now may we please be excused?”  
           “Yes, you can go,” Dessie said. Cronus and Kankri darted from the table and went up to Kankri’s room. Nepeta grinned to herself. There was something beyond just romance happening.  
           “I smell something fishyyyy!” she sang. Karkat grimaced, setting his food down.  
           “God,” he muttered, “I just lost my appetite. I think I’m done too.”  
           “Good! You three can do the dishes. I think Dessie and I have some things to talk about,” Solomon said. Nepeta pouted a bit. She hated doing dishes. Meulin let out a laugh as she stood up and started clearing the table.  
           “Ahahaha, did you see how embarrassed Kankri was?”  
           “Why do you think he wanted to get out of here so fast?” Nepeta asked. She had an idea, but never having been in a relationship, she was curious about Meulin’s take on the situation.  
           “Why do you think?” Meulin answered, before pretending to suck a dick. The two girls laughed, but Karkat looked horrified.  
           “Would you two knock it off? That’s my brother; that’s the last thing I want to think about him doing.”  
           “Don’t be such a baby, Karkat,” Nepeta answered as she rinsed a plate off. She still thought he was kind of adorable when he was all riled up.  
           “I’m not being a baby! Do you want me to stand here and talk about how Meulin sucks off Kurloz?” Nepeta’s eyes went wide, and she turned very slowly towards Meulin, her gaze narrowing. “Ewwwwwwwww…”  
           “I do not!” Meulin shouted back.  
           “Oh please,” Karkat answered with an eye roll before making his way down the hall.  
           “Where do you think you’re going?”  
           “To pee! Stop being so fucking nosy.”  
           Meulin let out a sigh. “Of course. Karkat bails and leaves the ladies to do the domestic work. Porrim would have a conniption.” It became clear after about 15 minutes that Karkat wasn’t going to come back and help them finish. Nepeta was pretty sure she heard a door slam, and then the squeak of the door that opened into the stairwell leading up to Karkat’s attic bedroom. He _definitely_ wasn’t going to come back and help them. What an ass. Solomon and Dessie came out of their bedroom after having a long conversation about who knew what, and Solomon frowned at the girls as Nepeta was finishing drying the dishes and Meulin put them away.  
           “Where’s Karkat? He’s supposed to help.”  
           Meulin shrugged. “He said he had to pee, but that was forever ago.”

           As it turned out, there was a good reason Karkat bailed, as Meulin and Nepeta found out the next day, when Karkat came down for breakfast. Nepeta was at the table, eating a bowl of cereal while Solomon was reading the newspaper, and Dessie, Kankri, and Meulin were relaxing on the couch nearby. Solomon glanced at Karkat from over the paper.  
           “I thought you were supposed to help the girls clean up dinner last night,” he said.  
           “Yeah, well, I walked in on Kankri getting a blowjob so forgive me if my mind wasn’t clear,” Karkat sniped. Nepeta gagged on her cereal, spluttering a bit. Oh, she and Meulin had just been making jokes! They had no idea that’s what was actually happening!  
           “I asked you not to tell, you… you… FUCKER!” Kankri shouted, standing up from the couch. Nepeta was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable in the middle of this confrontation. Solomon looked tense.  
           “Right. Okay, boys. In my office,” he said, his voice more authoritative than usual.  
           “But—” Kankri objected.  
           “Now!” Karkat and Kankri could not have moved faster, scrambling out of the room and down the hall into their father’s office. Nepeta and Meulin both turned to face Dessie.  
           "Don’t worry, ladies, we get our own talk later,” she said. And get a talk they did. Little did Nepeta realize that her mom meant a _sex_ talk. The Talk. They took over the office once the boys cleared out, Karkat, Kankri, and Solomon all looking various levels of awkward. Once Nepeta and Meulin settled onto the floor, Dessie took the chair behind the desk  
           “Alright, well, it’s time. I need to teach you ladies about safe sex.” Meulin’s face contorted. She chewed on her lip for a moment. “Is there something wrong, Meulin?”  
           “I… uh. Don’t really think I need this talk?”  
           “It’s for your safety, Meulin.”  
           “No, I mean… I already know about safe sex. I… uh… well, I’m not a virgin, Mom.” Nepeta swore her mother’s eyes just about popped out of her head. She didn’t realize Meulin was keeping that a secret!  
           “WhaAT.”  
           “I… uh. Had sex with Kurloz on our anniversary.”  
           “Wh- I- uh—” Dessie stammered. Nepeta didn’t know how to react to anything that was happening. Dessie’s eyes widened in a sudden panic. “DID YOU USE A CONDOM?!?”  
           “Yes! Of course, Mom! I’m not… stupid…”  
           “Oh my GOD, I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me about this… well, you need to listen anyway.”  
           Nepeta wasn’t objecting to having the talk. She knew she was nowhere near being physical with anyone; she was only barely scratching the surface of a potential relationship with Oliver (he was so cute), but it still seemed like it was important information to have, should something ever come up. It was weird, sure, but Nepeta listened to her mother, and when it was over, it was over. Karkat and Kankri seemed really disgruntled about the whole thing, but Nepeta didn’t think it was a big deal.

           The next day, Karkat had a date with Dave. They’d been doing movie nights and Dave had been over a couple times, in which Nepeta finally got to talk to him (she was right, he was totally cool. And by cool she meant chill, like relaxed, because he was _not_ popular at school) but they hadn’t been on a date since their first. Nepeta wished Karkat luck, to which he just grumbled. Nepeta was still pondering the conversation she and Meulin had with their mother. She rolled over on her bed and lobbed a paper ball at Meulin’s head.  
           “Ah—hey!” Meulin said, turning in her chair to face Nepeta. “What’re you doing?”  
           “Just messing with you a little bit,” Nepeta stuck her tongue out at her sister. Meulin responded by throwing a paper ball back at Nepeta.  
           “I need to finish my homework,” Meulin muttered. Her anxiety was high lately, waiting on responses to college applications.  
           “Oh, you’re no fun.”  
           “What! I’m tons of fun,” Meulin answered, facing Nepeta again and sticking her tongue out as Nepeta had done moments ago. “I’m just… not doing well in one of my classes, and I need to pass to graduate!”  
           “Well that sounds important,” Nepeta muttered. “I was just wondering, uh, how long you and Kurloz talked before he asked you to be his girlfriend? And, uh, how did you know you loved him? Did you guys say you were in love before…um. Before you did anything?”  
           Meulin’s eyes widened and she grinned a grin that took up about 80 percent of her face. “Ohhhh my goooooddddddd, I know why you’re asking!! You want Oliver to be your boyfriend!!!” Nepeta blushed. “Well, Kurloz and I weren’t dating very long at all before making it official! But, we spent a lot of that time hanging out together. And, ummmm…” Meulin thought for a moment. She wondered how to explain it to Nepeta. “Um. Love is different for everyone, I think. When you’re in love with someone, in that romantic way, then you just kind of… know? It’s like this little ball of warmth when you’re with them. It swells and expands inside you, a happy little ball of sunshine making your heart all tingly until you can’t keep it in anymore and you just say those words! He stared at me after I said it…” Meulin remembered. “It seems like all he ever did was stare, for a while after… things.” Nepeta frowned. It was always vaguely off-putting when Meulin remembered the macabre repentance Kurloz paid out of his own guilt. “But then he grinned and signed it back at me!!”  
           “Well… I don’t know if that really helped,” Nepeta said.  
           “The point is! When you’re in love, you’ll know!”  
           “Hmm… okay,” Nepeta conceded. “What about the last question?”  
           Meulin’s smile faded a bit. “Hmm, yeah. I think love is an important thing before you decide to. Um. Be physical. Or, at least, it was to me? Everyone’s different. I didn’t want to do stuff like that with someone I wasn’t in love with.”  
           “Hmm,” Nepeta muttered again. She wasn’t sure what to make of all of it, but one thing was for sure: she was going to see Oliver’s show that weekend, and she was going to make a move.

 _Bye Bye Birdie_ was exactly as fun and crazy as had been described to Nepeta. She’d put on a comfortable sundress and a denim jacket and even went without her cat beanie, trying to look as cute as possible for Oliver. It was clear he was having _such_ a good time performing, and the way he smiled during curtain call only made Nepeta’s heart flutter more. He came up to her after the curtain closed, still smiling wide.  
           “Nepeta! I’m glad you made it!”  
           “Of course!! It seemed important to you, soooo I thought I’d come check it out.”  
           “Well… um… do you want to come to the cast party with me? It’s a little unorthodox, but the group is always having friends tag along. We’re gonna go to _Denny’s_ since they’re open so late, and I just thought…” Gosh, his nervous rambling was so endearing. Nepeta’s face warmed up, and she plucked up all the courage she could find, got onto her tiptoes, and planted a gentle kiss on Oliver’s cheek. He stopped midsentence, eyes going wide at Nepeta and cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Nepeta felt herself blushing, too, the longer he looked at her, so she forced herself to answer.  
           “Yeah, I think the cast party would be…uh… fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i never know what to do in this chapter on the respective timelines. i had an unusually hard time writing this one? anyway i know exactly what's supposed to go down in the last few chapters soooo yeah got some cool stuff planned and then i finally get to write rosemary in the next story holy shit
> 
> also btw i named oliver after oliver and company and also kind of modeled his appearance after what i imagine he'd look like as a human but also oliver is a valid troll name lmao


	13. Get Your Claws Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta's fight-or-flight response somehow always ticks over to 'fight'.

      “It seems like things are going well with that boy you like so much,” Equius observed. Nepeta smiled.  
      “Yeah! We’ve been able to hang out more since the show ended. He’s really sweet.” Equius grunted. If only the Zahhaks had better luck. Equius seemed to be in higher spirits, or at least, less depressed, but as it turned out, his brother had been broken up with recently. Poor Horuss.  
      “That is good to hear,” Equius said.  
      “Hey, thanks for coming over to help me out with my homework.”  
      “Of course, Nepeta. I have noticed you falling behind.”  
      “Well Mr. Dunlea took my fidget cube in math a few weeks ago because he thought I was goofing off but all he did was make it harder for me to focus!”  
      “Are you sure your current infatuation has not…” Equius paused for a moment, thinking over his words. “Are you sure you are not allocating too much time with Oliver, as opposed to your studies?” Nepeta glared at him.  
      “Do you think he’s a distraction?”  
      “I think… you need to keep your priorities in order,” Equius said. Nepeta made a small humming noise, but she supposed he had a point. She’d been spending a lot of time worrying about her relationships and how things with Oliver were going, and not a lot of time studying and doing homework and things like that. She was a pretty average student, but Equius wanted better for her, and he was being a good friend and helping her out! Especially since it was almost April already. Nepeta opened the door and Karkat was already on the couch watching something. He’d taken the bus home, and Nepeta missed it because she had to wait for Equius. He looked over at her in acknowledgment of her arrival, and she and Equius began unloading their backpacks at the nearby kitchen table. The first thing they focused on was math; that seemed to be where Nepeta was struggling most. Their phones were both going off incessantly during their study session, too, and Nepeta had to remind herself not to answer while she was doing homework. Karkat’s interjection explained what was happening.  
      “Hey Nepeta, there’s a party for Aradia’s birthday this Friday,” he said. Nepeta looked up at him.  
      “Oh, is that why Pesterchum’s going nutso right now?”  
      “Yeah, do you wanna go?”  
      “Sure!”  
      A few moments passed, and then Karkat turned to Nepeta and Equius again.  
      “Equius, you’re on the guest list too,” Karkat said.  
      “Really? I didn’t think Miss Megido would want me there.” Poor Equius. He was so bummed out about how things turned out.  
      “Yeah well Sol is in charge and he said it’s cool, so…” Karkat explained, waiting for an answer.  
      “Very well then, I will attend.”  
      “Can’t you two assholes let him know yourself? Whatever…”  
      “Hey Equius,” Nepeta said, “can we go over some history stuff too?”  
      “Of course. Do you have your textbook?”  
      “Yeah, but…” Nepeta thought about it for a moment. “Mm, I don’t actually find the textbook that useful.”  
      “Hmm,” Equius murmured. “Well, there is always the encyclopedia set at my house. They are a bit more comprehensive.”  
      “Do you think they’ll help?”  
      “Yes,” he answered. Equius was the master of one-word answers.  
      “Hmm, alright! Let’s go check it out, then,” Nepeta said with a smile. “Hey Karkitty!”  
      “What?” Karkat said, sounding only _slightly_ irritated.  
      “I’m gonna head over to Equius’ place,” Nepeta said, starting to pack up her bag again.  
      “’kay,” Karkat said with a sigh as Nepeta and Equius went out the front door and walked to the bus stop down the street. Nepeta let out a sigh as she checked the bus schedule.  
      “Looks like we just missed it.”  
      “You are having bad luck with buses today, it seems.”  
      “Yes, it does seem. Welp!” Nepeta said, not losing any joy, “guess we’re walking!”

     It wasn’t a long walk. Taking the bus would have saved probably about 20 minutes, but Nepeta thought she could use the exercise, at the very least. And it was a nice day, so that was good. When they got to Equius’ house, which was notably nicer and larger than the Leijon-Vantas home, Equius walked up to the front door and unlocked it. Nepeta furrowed her brow at him. Usually someone was home.  
     “Father is out on business and Aurthour has taken today off due to some personal matters,” Equius explained. “And Horuss is—”  
     “Out with Meulin.” Meulin had been hanging out with Horuss a lot since the breakup, and she was more than a little unhappy with Rufioh. Nepeta couldn’t blame her, he broke her best friend’s heart! And Horuss was… emotionally fragile, or that was what it seemed like to Nepeta. Equius swung the front door open and the two went inside. Equius started up the stairs.  
     “The books are in my father’s study.”  
     “Oh, okay!” Nepeta followed him up the stairs, off into a room Nepeta had never been in before. The walls were covered by bookshelves, all of which were full, and an ornate wooden desk in the middle of the room. Nepeta’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe that many books fit in one place. Equius approached one of the bookshelves and started running his finger down the row of books, apparently looking for one in particular.  
     “Ah,” he muttered, before pulling a few large books out. “Here we go.” He thrust them into Nepeta’s arms. Holy crap, they were heavy. “We can go study in my room.”  
     “‘kay,” Nepeta said, turning and walking across the hall to Equius’ room.

     They weren’t far into their study session at all when they heard a thunk on the door. Equius sat up, immediately alert. Had he locked the door behind him? Another thunk. Nepeta’s eyes met Equius’, and he looked a bit panicked.  
     “Stay here. I will go investigate. It’s probably Horuss, he forgets his key with annoying frequency.” Nepeta sat up, watching with wide eyes as Equius left the room. “Horuss?” she heard him call. There was the creaking of the stairs, and then shattering glass. Nepeta couldn’t pick out what he was saying, but it sounded like Equius was talking to someone. Every inch of her was shouting that something was wrong, her heart seizing up with fear. She heard more sounds from downstairs—a scuffle, the sound of breaking wood, and she made her feet hit the floor and ran down the hallway, halfway down the stairs, pausing behind the small banister. She couldn’t tell what had happened, only knew that Gamzee was somehow in the house, and the door was wide open. Gamzee had his back to the stairwell, standing over Equius. The bow Equius’ dad kept on display wasn’t in its case. No. It was in Gamzee’s hands, in half, the string looped around Equius’ neck.  
     “I SAID KNEEL, MOTHERFUCKER!” Gamzee snarled as Equius was gasping for air. Nepeta wanted to scream, but she also didn’t want Gamzee to know she was there. She needed the element of surprise; Gamzee was _huge_. She put one foot on the bottom of the banister, put her other foot on top, and very carefully climbed over it, hanging on as she turned around, leaving her heels on the railing. She clutched the pocketknife in her jacket tightly, and then leapt at Gamzee, clinging to his back and wrapping an arm around his neck.  
      “Leave him alone!!” she screamed, managing to surprise Gamzee enough that he dropped the bow. Her knife was flailing around in her hand, and she straightened her grip on it as Gamzee tried to get her off. His stumbled movements were erratic, but she got the small tip of her knife in Gamzee’s cheek, and slid it across his face. She didn’t want to dig too deep, just enough to get Gamzee away from Equius. Gamzee screamed, wrenching the knife out of Nepeta’s hands and casting it aside before he reeled backwards, trying to get his hands around Nepeta’s wrists to throw her off. He couldn’t quite get a grip, but he swung his entire body back, knocking Nepeta into the wall. She hit her head and lost her hold on Gamzee, but managed to land on her feet. He turned to face her, blood dripping down his face, and a crazed look in his eyes. Nepeta put up her fists, and Gamzee let out a laugh.  
      “Heh, you think you can motherfuckin’ fight me? You’re nothin’ without that little knife of yours, sis.” Nepeta didn’t say anything, just tried to look past Gamzee to see if Equius was okay. Her eyes shifted between Gamzee and her knife on the ground behind him. Before she could make a move towards it, Gamzee took a swing at her, his fist connecting with Nepeta’s face. She took a few steps back, dazed, but not down for the count. She swung her fist at Gamzee, but he was too quick, grabbing her arm as she went, his grip painfully tight. He swung her around and slammed her into the wall again, this time face first. Nepeta let out a cry of pain, vaguely aware of the splatter of blood that came from her nose with the impact. She doubled over, reaching for her face, but she couldn’t give up. She tried to leap at him again, which was met with a knee to the gut. Nepeta fell to the ground then. “Stay down, motherfucker,” Gamzee hissed before turning back towards Equius. Nepeta stood again despite his words, and kicked Gamzee in the back of the knee. He faltered for a second, then sharply elbowed Nepeta in the face before turning and giving her another punch in the gut. She fell over again, leaning on one knee, and she began to stand before Gamzee simply pushed her over. She knew she couldn’t keep going, she just wanted to fight long enough for Equius to get up. He must have actually fallen unconscious—Gamzee came so close to literally killing him! Nepeta started to move to stand up again, but Gamzee kicked her in the stomach, and kept kicking her in the stomach. Nepeta whimpered. Her nose was bleeding and probably broken, there were bruises on her arms and face, and every impact made her curl in on herself even more. “Why won’t you stay down, motherfucker?!” Gamzee screamed at her, giving her another kick. And then she heard a grunt, and she looked up, and Karkat was on Gamzee’s back, pulling him away from her as Nepeta had done for Equius. She managed to stand up on shaky legs, scoop up her knife, and dart over to Equius, untangling the bow cord from around his neck. He was breathing normally and it seemed like he was finally starting to come to. Nepeta looked over at Karkat, who’d finally been shaken off of Gamzee. The two boys were staring each other down. “Karbro…”  
      “Don’t you ‘Karbro’ me!” Karkat bit back at him. Nepeta’s breath caught in her throat. This wasn’t the time for him to lose his temper!  
      “You shouldn’t motherfuckin’ be here, motherfucker.”  
      “Neither should you,” Karkat answered, sounding calmer. “Gamzee, we’re your friends. Why… why would you do this?” Karkat was slowly circling around Gamzee, putting himself between Gamzee, and Nepeta and Equius. Equius sat up a bit, but was still disoriented. Nepeta gestured for him to stay quiet.  
      “Get out of the way,” Gamzee growled at Karkat.  
      “Someone’s fucking with your head, man.”  
      “MOVE!” Nepeta shuddered with Gamzee’s shout. This wasn’t normal for him.  
      “You don’t want to hurt me. You don’t want to hurt them. This isn’t _right._ ” Karkat took a breath. Nepeta was surprised at the way he was handling it. He almost sounded like Solomon. “There’s something wrong here, isn’t there? Take a breath, Gamzee. Look at me. We’re friends.”  
      “Kar…”  
      “Shhh…” Karkat moved towards Gamzee slowly, patting him on the shoulder. Gamzee looked the slightest bit calmed by the gesture. “Come on. This isn’t you. Where’s Gamzee? I want to talk to my pal.” Gamzee shook his head wildly, gripping it tight like he was trying to get something out.  
      “My head’s all… fucked, man. Shit. I… I didn’t want to… didn’t mean to…” He spoke almost as though he’d been in a daze, not in control of himself. Nepeta didn’t know what was going on. “You sh-should go, man. Before this gets ugly again.” Nepeta let herself breathe and relax a bit. Whatever Karkat had done, whatever calming energy he was channeling, it worked.  
      “Yeah, I’m gonna take Nep home. Are you okay? Can you keep it together for a bit?” Gamzee nodded at Karkat. “‘kay. You should go, too, before someone calls the cops.” Nepeta let herself fully relax, then, only letting go of her knife once Gamzee left and Equius stood up. Karkat’s shoulders dropped their tension as he turned around. “Holy shit…” he muttered, then walked over to Nepeta and Equius. “Are you okay, Equius?”  
      “Yes… a bit unsettled, but I am physically fine.” Bullshit, he was the one who passed out. “Nepeta jumped in when Mr. Makara attempted to, uh, choke me to death.”  
      “He was literally trying to kill you?” Karkat asked. Equius grunted an affirmative. “Okay… so you’ll be okay, if I take her home?” Karkat gestured to Nepeta, who was still sitting on the floor. She didn’t trust her legs. Whether she’d actually been hurt there or they were just shaking with anxiety and fear she hadn’t shown in battle, they felt like jello.  
      “Yes,” Equius answered, just before he and Karkat helped Nepeta up. Equius handed Nepeta a towel and she used her free arm, the one that wasn’t around Karkat’s shoulder, to hold the towel up to her nose, which was still bleeding pretty badly. She and Karkat staggered towards the door together. “And Karkat?”  
      “Yeah?”  
      “Please make sure she’s okay,” Equius said. Nepeta was so glad they had each other. If they didn’t look out for each other, he’d probably be dead.

      Karkat and Nepeta managed to catch the bus; Karkat said walking home was going to be too difficult, and he was probably right. The bus driver raised an eyebrow at them, but didn’t ask any questions. Karkat was doing everything to make sure Nepeta was okay. It was sweet, and kind of the attention Nepeta had always wanted from him, but things were different now.  
      “Karkat, I’m _fiiiiine,”_ Nepeta insisted.  
      “No you aren’t, you’re bleeding everywhere. Hang on, don’t lose that towel,” Karkat said. He busied himself with his phone for a moment.  
      “The bleeding is slowing down.”  
      “Good, maybe you won’t have to go to the hospital.” Nepeta kept the towel pressed against her face and her head tilted back, though she thought that worked more for nosebleeds than actual fractures. She leaned on Karkat’s shoulder as he made a call. Not to the police, which Nepeta probably would have done, but to a mental health clinic. Once they got off the bus, Karkat helped Nepeta inside, even though she was pretty sure she could walk just fine at that point, and laid her down on the couch. “Dessie! Dess, are you home?” Karkat shouted.  
      “What’s wrong, Karkat?” Nepeta heard her mother ask, before she ran over to the couch Nepeta was laying on. “What happened?!” she asked Karkat. Nepeta recognized the flash of fury that crossed her face.  
      “There was… a situation. With Gamzee.” Notably vague. Nepeta thought Karkat was giving Gamzee too much slack in this situation. He tried to murder Equius.  
      “I’m okay, Mom,” Nepeta insisted, even though she knew she wasn’t. Dessie did a full assessment and set Nepeta’s nose back—holy crap, that hurt—and told Nepeta she got off pretty lucky.  
      “Did you at least get a good shot in at him?”  
      “Yeah, I got ‘im with my pocketknife,” Nepeta answered, feeling so grateful for that particular Christmas gift.

      Nepeta figured she got off pretty easy. The worst thing was the swelling of her face, where she’d actually taken the most severe hits, and the bruises from her nose having been broken. Nobody wanted to ask many questions (except for Oliver, who Nepeta had to explain the entire situation to). They seemed to put two and two together when Gamzee stopped showing up to school. Somehow, however, he was at Aradia’s birthday party that weekend. Nepeta and Equius very much kept a distance. Actually, everyone kept a distance. He wasn’t his usual “420 blaze it” self, but he wasn’t the crazed beast Nepeta fought a few days prior. Despite his presence, Nepeta managed to have fun. That was, until she heard Karkat shouting.  
      “HOLY SHIT!” Everyone turned to look at him, not just Nepeta. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”  
      “Karkat, you FUCKER!” That was Sollux. “Can you not lose your shit for one day?!”  
      “Well excuse me, shithead. My dad just got shot.” And with that sentence, Nepeta felt a cold lump of terror drop into her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh this was intense but kind of fun to write  
> do i know how i'm going to explain gamzee's fuckin psychotic breakdown? not yet but that's a problem for future me because guess what i don't have to explain until part 13
> 
> after hearing about all this, oliver absolutely HATES gamzee violently and they've never even spoken. if they ever met oliver would probably slug him without saying a word


	14. Emotional Constipation

            “Come on, Nepeta,” Karkat said. Nepeta didn’t respond right away, trying to process what was happening. She just ran, being toted along by Karkat, his hand clasped around her wrist. After a few minutes of nothing but running, Nepeta realized just how far away they were from the hospital.  
            “Karkat, shouldn’t we call a Lyft or something?”  
            “Yeah… yeah, do that,” Karkat answered. Nepeta looked at him with worry. He looked like he was about to have a full-blown panic attack. Rage tantrums were one thing, but this was different. Well, she couldn’t blame him; she was freaking out a little bit, too. She took out her phone out and called a ride.

             Nepeta and Karkat arrived at the hospital before too long, and went where they were instructed to go, only to find Dessie and Kankri already there and Solomon being looked over. Nepeta sat down in a chair next to Kankri, neither of them really sure what to say, while Karkat asked Dessie about the situation.  
            “What’s happening?”  
            “I-I-I walked in, and… oh, gosh, it was terrible. One in the shoulder, one partway through his liver… it’s lodged. They need to take it out to prevent infection but they’re worried about him bleeding out, and he already lost so much blood. God… Karkat, I’m so sorry, I should have been there, I could have…”  
            “What? No, no, Dessie, don’t feel guilty. You’re the one that got him here.” Nepeta watched as her mother sank miserably into the seat on Kankri’s other side and tried to keep herself from crying. Nepeta had never seen her mother in such duress. Karkat was just looking blankly ahead, and Kankri was silent, not moving except for bouncing his leg in an anxious fit. Nepeta stood up and gave her mother the biggest hug she could muster. She clung tightly as Dessie took a breath, and both of them felt steadied by each other. Nepeta didn’t let go until she was sure her mom had stopped crying. Dessie took another breath.  
            “God dammit.” That was the first signal that Dessie wasn’t herself in that moment. She never cursed, or at least not around Nepeta. “Where’s Meulin?” Nepeta shrugged. “Uh… Simon and your grandmother are coming, too.” Nepeta sat back down as her mom turned back to her phone. There was nothing to be said. All she could do was look out at her family and sit and deal with the weight of all the emotions. Karkat wandered into Solomon’s room after a moment, and Dessie followed, and Nepeta was tempted to join them, but decided against it. Despite having thought of him as such, Solomon wasn’t Nepeta’s dad. It was better to give Karkat a moment with his father, so Nepeta stayed put, looking over at Kankri in his seat next to hers. His head was tilted down, eyes closed, and fingers interlaced with both his hands in his lap as he muttered quietly to himself. He paused, eyes flickering open and glancing over at Nepeta.  
            “Would you like to join me in prayer, Nepeta?” he asked softly. It was rare that Kankri spoke with a gentle nature like that. Nepeta game him a small nod, and took the hand he extended to her. “Dear Heavenly Father, with heavy hearts we come to You. Our hearts are heavy because of a life that is in danger. The idea of death engulfs, us, Lord. Fear is waiting to take us down. Thank you, Father, that because of Jesus, You know our pain and sorrow intimately. We pray that you take the hand of our dear Father and guide him back to us. Lord, we are before You, confessing that You are Lord of all; the gate keeper to eternal life. Through the Holy Spirit we know Your presence is with us. Send us peace, Lord. Send us understanding. You are conqueror of all; and so we trust You. But our souls are not ready to part with his. Please, send him back to us. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.” Nepeta didn’t know what to make of Kankri’s prayer. She wasn’t really sure what to think about the idea of God, but it seemed important to Kankri, and he gave her an appreciative glance, even though she didn’t think she’d done anything. Dessie and Karkat re-emerged from Solomon’s room after another moment.  
            “Karkat, honey,” Nepeta heard her mother say, “I wasn’t there; I don’t know if police did a thorough investigation. I don’t know. There’s a lot going on.”  
            “Mom!” All four heads turned to see Meulin at the end of the hall, and Nepeta had to listen to her mother explain everything again, while Karkat paced in the hall. Everything was adding together to form a _huge_ spike in anxiety, and Nepeta was sure it wasn’t just her. Her phone started buzzing in her pocket.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

CT: Nepeta.  
CT: Is everything okay?  
AC: i don’t know!!  
AC: solomon is in a room right now  
AC: mom’s talking to meulin  
AC: i hate it here  
CT: My apologies for the situation.  
AC: don’t apologize  
AC: it’s not like it’s your fault  
CT: Yes, but…  
CT: I suppose you are correct.  
AC: arghhh this whole thing sucks!  
AC: everyone is sad and scared and i am too and there’s nothing we can do about it!  
CT: Nepeta, please, take a breath.  
CT: Let the doctors do their work.  
AC: bluhhhhh i know  
AC: oh shoot  
AC: i have to go, equius

 arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

            A doctor emerged from the room and began talking to Dessie. Nepeta was listening in, trying to hear as much as possible while also signing the information rapidly to Meulin. She only caught a few details… something about surgery soon, and something about an unusual bullet. Meulin was just vigorously nodding along to let Nepeta know they were on the same page. And then Simon showed up, with the Maryams close behind him. Kanaya ran over and gave Nepeta a hug, and then Karkat, while all the adults were talking, except for Rosa, who’d immediately gone in to see her son. After all the hubbub, a silence fell over the lot of them. Kankri was impatiently bouncing his leg. Meulin was running her fingers through the ends of her hair. Nepeta tugged down on the bottom of her beanie. Porrim had to escort her mother outside while she had an emotional moment. Nobody was saying anything for a long time, and then Dessie spoke in a hushed voice, but everyone was so quiet that Nepeta could make out everything she said.  
            “Um, Rosa, I hate to put you out, but do you think the kids could go with you tonight? I would prefer to stay here until Solomon is released, but I don’t feel comfortable with them staying here.”  
            “What? No, I want to stay,” Kankri said. That was what opened the next can of worms.  
            “Kankri, please, no,” Dessie said. “Please, go home with your grandmother and get some rest.”  
            “Dessie, with all due respect, you’re not my mother and you have no legal authority to tell me what to do.”  
            “Excuse me?”  
            “Not to mention I work here. I’m sure I could find somewhere to take a nap if my rest is really your concern.”  
            “Kankri, don’t be rash,” Rosa chided.  
            “Come on! I’m practically an adult, and if I want to stay I should stay, right?” Kankri was raising his voice more than a little by then.  
            “You disrespectful little shit!” Simon shouted at him. Nepeta had never found herself in the middle of so much anger, but her mother managed to diffuse the situation.  
            “Simon, please! This is a family matter. And we are in a hospital! I will not tolerate arguing right now. Please. I am stressed out enough; we all are. So can we all… please just cooperate? Kankri, fine. If you want to stay, fine. The rest of your should go; it’s getting late and they’re going to make us leave soon.”  
            “If Kankri gets to stay, I want to stay,” Karkat said.  
            “Karkat, I—fine. Fine.”

             Nepeta let out a sigh as her not-quite-grandma led her, along with Meulin and the rest of the Maryams, plus Simon, out of the hospital. Malati and Aarav hugged him and waved him off as he wandered off to his own car. Simon was… a character. He was Solomon’s best friend through high school and college. He’d been over to dinner not too long ago, and Nepeta thought he was fun, but he was also jittery and impatient. Well, everyone seemed kind of jittery and impatient just then. Nepeta’s phone went off again as she buckled herself into the back seat.

 ambitiousThespian [AT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 AT: Hey nep!!  
AC: oh  
AC: hi  
AT: Hmm  
AT: Is something wrong?  
AC: yeah  
AC: my dad is in the hospital  
AC: err  
AC: not my dad but you know what i mean  
AT: Oh no…  
AT: What happened?  
AC: he got shot  
AC: everyone is really stressed out  
AC: my mom and karkat and kankri are staying at the hospital  
AT: What about you?  
AC: she sent me and meulin to go to my aunt’s place  
AC: well  
AC: not my aunt but  
AT: I know what you mean  
AT: Well are you doing okay?  
AC: hmm  
AC: i guess…  
AC: karkat and kankri really wanted to stay but i don’t think i could stand it  
AC: and i mean i’m scared for solomon but i think he will probably be okay  
AC: right?  
AT: Yeah people survive being shot all the time  
AC: ://  
AC: i’m trying to keep my chin up but it’s kind of… really hard right now, actually  
AT: Oh nep im so sorry  
AT: I wish i could give you a hug right now  
AT: I hope everything turns out okay  
AC: thanks  
AT: <3

             Nepeta just about dropped her phone when that last message appeared, earning her an odd look from Kanaya as her entire face went red.

 AC: <3  
AC: i need to go though!  
AT: Okay well keep me posted

 arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering ambitiousThespian [AT]

 

            “Who were you talking to?” Kanaya asked.  
            “Oh. It was just Oliver.”  
            “Hmm,” Kanaya tutted, but she didn’t say anything else. Nepeta leaned her head against the window, tugging on the bottom of her hat again. The more she thought about how distraught everyone was, the closer she came to crying herself. No. Solomon would pull through. He had to. He had better believe he would see her again!  
            Everyone moved kind of sluggishly when they got to the Maryams’ house. Nepeta felt oddly displaced. They didn’t spend much time at the Maryams’ house. They were family, in a way, but they were all more connected with each other in that moment. Meulin glanced over at her sister, then took her hand quietly as they walked into the house behind Kanaya and Porrim. That weekend was the longest weekend of Nepeta’s life. Everyone was so serious and quiet and stressed, and Nepeta was having a hard time not worrying, or even finding anything to keep her mind occupied. She didn’t have any of her fidget toys, and she felt rude if she was on her phone too much. School on Monday came as both a relief and a pain. Karkat wasn’t there, which was a little worrying, and Nepeta could barely stand to eat during lunch. She was turning her spoon in the pudding when a hand gently brushed the top of hers, then clasped tight. Her eyes darted up across the table and exchanged a glance with Sollux. ‘Thanks, Pawlux,’ she mouthed at him, but she didn’t say anything. There were a few small comments, quiet conversation, but it seemed distant in Nepeta’s mind, and it was a drudge for her to get through the rest of her classes that day, even with Equius at her side providing constant reassurance. She, Meulin, Kanaya, and Porrim met up in the parking lot after school and once everyone was in the car, Nepeta spotted Malati’s eyes in the rear-view mirror, looking heavy with sadness. Nepeta’s stomach dropped.  
            “Nepeta, Meulin, your mother called and told me to drop you off at home,” she explained, pulling out of the parking lot. Nepeta couldn’t shake her bad feeling, exchanging a worried glance with Meulin.  
            “Is there any word on Uncle Solomon?” Porrim asked her mother. There was a pause.  
            “Not yet. But Dessie and the boys are home so I assume we’ll hear something later.”

             As soon as they got home, Nepeta all but sprinted inside, Meulin a bit behind her, to find their mother holding her head in her hands at the kitchen table. They both paused in the doorway, silent for a moment.  
            “Mom?” Meulin asked, taking a small step forward.  
            “Girls,” Dessie managed to say after a moment. She sniffled. It was clear she’d been crying. She stood from her seat and turned around to face the girls. “Come, sit down.” Nepeta did as she was instructed, with an amount of hesitation. Meulin seemed a bit slower to understand what was happening, but she was aware there was a weight in the conversation. “Um. I… Solomon passed away,” Dessie said bluntly. Nepeta stomach dropped in a sensation she’d become used to in the last few days. She knew that’s the direction the conversation was going to go in, but it still felt like a shock. Meulin’s eyes immediately began watering, and Dessie stood up from her chair and walked over to Meulin, enveloping her in a hug, and Nepeta joined after a moment. She didn’t know how to process that Solomon was actually gone. Meulin and her mother were crying, but Nepeta couldn’t make herself. It was an odd feeling, and Nepeta didn’t know how to wrap her mind around it. After a while, Dessie and Meulin managed to compose themselves, and Dessie told the girls that she had some more calls to make. They both went up into their room and Nepeta curled into herself, retreating into her blankets while her phone pinged incessantly. She didn’t have the energy to check. Having her fear confirmed had completely drained her. She opened her tablet to watch something, anything that would take her mind off of it, only to be bombarded with the same messages that were registering on her phone. Karkat was setting up a memo and inviting all their friends to the funeral. Nepeta didn’t think they had a date already, but Karkat was being pre-emptive. He was probably trying not to think about it, too, but Nepeta didn’t want to read the memo because she was fairly sure there were a couple people who were bound to be assholes about it. Another Pesterchum window appeared on her screen.

 centaursTesticle [CT]  began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 CT: Nepeta  
CT: I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  
CT: I know you were close with Mr. Vantas.  
AC: thanks equius  
AC: sorry, i don’t really know what else to say about it  
AC: i felt like i finally kind of had a dad and now he’s gone  
CT: Hm.  
CT: Yes…  
CT: My apologies, I am not very good at consolation.  
AC: it’s okay equius  
AC: it’s sweet of you to try  
CT: Yes, well, I will attend the funeral if you would like me to.  
AC: oh  
AC: sure  
AC: i didn’t really want to think about it  
AC: i’m ignoring the memo right now  
CT: Sorry for bringing it up, then.  
AC: gosh  
AC: it’s fine equius  
AC: i’m just really out of it  
AC: i’m gonna take a nap or something  
CT: Okay.  
CT: Message me if you need to.

centaursTesticle [CT]  ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

            Nepeta set down her tablet for a moment, but then thought better of it and sent another message.

 arsenicCatnip [AC]  began pestering ambitiousThespian [AT]

 AC: hey oliver  
AC: so uh  
AC: you told me to keep you up to date and  
AC: well  
AC: i’m home now  
AT: Oh thats good!!  
AT: Is solomon okay?  
AC: errr  
AC: no  
AC: he um  
AC: he died  
AC: and i’m really kind of in a funk about it  
AC: like i should be sad and crying  
AC: like mom and meulin and probably karkat too  
AC: and i’m definitely sad, but also  
AC: kind of  
AC: numb i guess?  
AC: i don’t really feel much right now  
AT: Oh gosh  
AT: Gosh im so sorry nep  
AT: But uh  
AT: Dont force yourself to feel a certain way  
AT: Everyone handles stuff differently  
AT: Not crying doesnt mean youre not sad  
AC: yeah i guess you’re right  
AC: i just wanted to tell you what was going on since you said to keep you posted  
AT: Yeah  
AT: Well nep if you need someone to talk to i am here  
AC: okay  
AC: thanks

 arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering ambitiousThespian [AT]

            It was still such an odd concept to get her head around. Solomon was so… good. So kind. He’s the one who gave her the pocketknife! He basically saved her life! And he was just… gone? It felt almost fake. Like she was floating through some alternate reality. He couldn’t be gone. Not in real life. She wanted to sob and cry about it but she couldn’t. It was like emotional constipation.

             The funeral wasn’t long after that dreaded afternoon. The kids had been given the rest of that first week off of school but had to go back the following Monday, and then the funeral was that weekend. A good amount of Nepeta’s friends showed up, per Karkat’s request. Nepeta didn’t invite Oliver, though. She couldn’t justify bringing a relative stranger to the funeral, and she was already dealing with all her weird emotions about it. She held her hands together in her lap as the pastor spoke. His words felt really detached from Solomon as a person. It seemed like the same thing he would say about anyone. It was when her mother took the stand that Nepeta paid more attention.  
            “Solomon Vantas was… one of the kindest, greatest people I ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so inspirational to me, so influential to the word; how he was just… always trying to help whoever he could, always trying to make peace or find a diplomatic way around a problem- that was all he wanted to be. A diplomat. He wanted to make a better future for his kids, for my kids… Solomon was…my best friend, and my first love. When we met in high school, I knew I’d found someone I could confide in. Someone I knew I wanted in my life. He had such an idealistic concept of what the world could be. And… oh, the way he lit up when we talked about how we could improve the world, leave our mark… and then we fell in love… and then… both left for different colleges. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find him again, but I was. I swore I’d never lose him again. And yet, here we are. Solomon Vantas was… a great man, who did great things, and I will _not_ let that be in vain. He may be gone, but the impact that he’s had will be with us forever.” Oh gosh, Nepeta felt her eyes begin to water. The reality of what was happening finally hit her, and a rush of sadness washed over her, along with a little bit of relief that she _was_ finally crying. She blinked, letting her tears roll down her cheeks as her mother stepped away from the podium and walked towards her, Meulin, Karkat, and Kankri. “You all have an opportunity to say something if you’d like,” she said. Nobody moved for a moment, Karkat shaking his head no. Nepeta could think of some things to say, but not in front of such a crowd. Kankri walked up instead.  
            “My father was an ambitious, idealistic man. He was always trying to do something to help someone, and help this town. Someone I always admired, and from this day on I will be taking up his cause and do my best to be as he was. Thank you for everything, Dad.” Dad. That word echoed in Nepeta’s head. She’d called Solomon ‘Dad’. She grew up without a dad, and then had one taken from her. She began crying even more. It was like a cruel joke of the universe. She cried through the rest of the funeral, especially when the coffin was lowered, and then… that was it. Equius approached Nepeta afterwards and gave her the biggest hug he could muster, patting her head as she finished crying.  
            “Are you coming to the reception, Equius?” Nepeta said through her sniffles.  
            “Yes, of course,” he answered. Nepeta forced herself to smile at that.  
            “Nepeta!” another voice called. It was Feferi. She ran over and gave Nepeta a great big hug, too. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.”  
            “It’ll be okay, Fef,” Nepeta muttered. “It’s… weird right now but it’ll be okay.” Feferi nodded at her.  
            “Yeah, it will be.” And Nepeta knew it would. Things would be hard for a while, but… the more she thought about it, the more she actually did think it would be okay. The presence of Feferi and Equius and a few other friends at the reception only reinforced that idea, even if Karkat was being a grouch and hiding in his room. Nepeta couldn’t blame him. But the reception was… happy. Peaceful. Everyone around telling stories about Solomon, stupid things he did in college, getting arrested at protests and pulling stupid pranks, and then all the charity work he’d been doing, and the help he was giving to the new hopeful for town mayor, and even Nana Rosa spoke up about what a trouble-maker he’d been, even as a child, and Nepeta couldn’t help but laugh, and as she laughed, she thought more about it. Yeah, she had a feeling they were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bluh i had a hard time writing this chapter???? idk if i like it
> 
> ch 15 should be up tomorrow since it's just like an epilogue


	15. Graduation

The Vantas-Leijons and the Maryams had gained some kind of semblance of stability by June, which was great, because Kankri, Meulin, and Porrim were all graduating. Kankri was moving up north, not too far, with Cronus. Meulin was going to a creative writing school and living on campus there. It was an exciting time, and the actual graduation ceremony was bound to be interesting. Kankri was salty about Aranea just barely squeaking past him as valedictorian, but Meulin was just happy to be there. Dessie took a lot of pictures of Meulin and Kankri in their caps and gowns and family pictures, and at some point Nepeta thought she heard her mom mutter, “I wish Solomon were here to see this”, but she didn’t think anyone else caught it. Regardless, there were a lot of smiles. Dessie even got an extra ticket for Oliver. Nepeta thought having more kids around made her mom happy. There were nights where all of them had their significant others over; that was always fun, even if Oliver wasn’t formally Nepeta’s boyfriend yet.   
When the family (plus Oliver) got to the high school, Meulin and Kankri went off to wherever they were supposed to be, and the rest of them found seats with the Maryams, and the Lalondes and Dave. Karkat immediately sat down next to Dave, and Nepeta grinned knowingly at him. They sat through the ceremony, the massive group of families cheering throughout the ceremony, first for Roxy, then Meulin, Porrim, Dirk, and Kankri as they were announced alphabetically by last name. The caps were thrown into the air, and Nepeta was vaguely aware that Oliver had slipped his hand around her waist when they stood up. She looked down at it, then up at him, his cheeks turning bright pink as he let go.  
“Uh—” Oliver started, but he stopped when Nepeta grabbed his hand.  
“You didn’t need to let go!!” she said, beaming at him.  
“Oh, well… um.” Nepeta furrowed her brow at him. “I wanted to ask you something. I… uh, Nepeta, d’you. Uh. Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” Oliver blurted. Nepeta’s eyes went wide, and she couldn’t figure out how to use words for a moment, so she just slowly kind of nodded at him. Oliver grinned and pulled her a bit closer, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Things were good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooo another part finished!! okay so like i said i'm gonna write at least until the striders, so there's at least 6 more parts and then at that point i'll probably be like 'welp might as well finish' BUT i am on dat con crunch for fanime which is in a week and also have finals coming up so updates might come out slower for the next few weeks


End file.
